Lucy was out sailing with some humans and made a new friend in the shape of a curious dolphin.
Ah just look at those two, that’s the true meaning of friendship right there, one party larking about with a quirky grin while the other bounces around somewhat confused, but yet still invested in making the dynamic work.
The folk down at the marina will be talking about this for years to come.
Of course, as anyone knows, the sea isn’t always the best place to make friends. What if they didn’t get on? I mean yeah, the anonymous dolphin (who did not disclose their name) can swim off if it likes. Say it was another dog Lucy had met instead…
Lucy’s having fun with another dog, maybe they’ve got a really intriguing tennis ball or a tea towel that’s got some barbecue juice on it? They’re having a great time. The humans are drunk and singing along to Footloose. Perhaps there’s some beer pong going on.
Now, say Lucy’s new doggo friend decides to spend a bit more time sniffing at her like dogs do. Lucy can’t refuse. Because of the implication.
Think about it. Lucy’s humans are drunk, the dolphin friend is long gone, she’s out in the middle of nowhere with some dog she barely knows. She looks around. What does she see? Nothing but open ocean.
‘Ah, there’s nowhere for me to run. What am I going to do, bark and say no?’ The thing is, Lucy is never going to say no, because of the implication. Now, not that things are going to go wrong for Lucy but she’s thinking that they will.
Of course, that’s a massive hypothetical because as we see in the video Lucy has a dolphin friend, but just because we don’t have proof that there isn’t another dog on the boat you can’t feasibly argue this other dog doesn’t exist.
Lucy should count herself lucky her humans were sailing around Captiva Island in Florida and not Brittany, France.
Visitors to Landévennec beach have been banned from entering the waters because of a randy dolphin.
At three metres in length, Zafar the dolphin is currently in a disturbing state of arousal; rubbing himself against small boats such as kayaks for his own sexual gratification. Obviously. I’ve never heard of boats to have sexual needs, but feel free to send me footage to prove me wrong.
Zafar has attempted to stop various people from swimming away from him, back to the dry land. Terrifyingly, he has even used his nose to propel one woman out of the sea and into the air.
A brand new bylaw decreed by the mayor of Landévennec, Roger Lars, has been implemented to help keep people safe from Zafar’s alarming friskiness:
Swimming and diving are banned on the village shoreline… whenever the presence of the dolphin is confirmed.
Approaching within 50 metres of the dolphin is also forbidden.
Mayor Lars informed French publication Ouest France:
I took this decree to preserve the safety of people, Many bathers were very frightened. He even raised a bather last Thursday, with his nose.
Not gonna lie, the second half kind of threw me.
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Tim Horner is a sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated with a BA Journalism from University College Falmouth before most his colleagues were born. A previous editor of adult mags, he now enjoys bringing the tone down in the viral news sector.