A mischievous cat stole a weed cookie from its owner – and what followed was a journey of deep regret, confusion and despair.
Twitter user Carmine Deville shared the epic story online, explaining that while her ‘Dumpster Demon’ of a cat came out of the ordeal unharmed, she experienced what could only be described as a ‘violent’ high in the process.
Carmine, from St. Louis, Missouri, had taken the weed-filled cookie out of the freezer to defrost, leaving it on top of the fridge while she went to the bathroom.
She was back in the room in a matter of seconds, but that was all the time her determined pets needed to swipe the cookie from the fridge, chew through the three freezer bags and paper wrapping surrounding it, and scoff the entire cookie.
Now, Carmine has two cats, and she believes the felines had ‘tag-teamed’ in order to get their paws on the cookie. However, she wasn’t sure which of the two animals had been the one to actually consume it.
Carmine walked back into the room to find the two cats lying amid leftover chocolate cookies, and her reaction to the scene was best described with a GIF:
Carmine instantly began panicking, and attempted to rectify the situation by trying to make her cats throw up – using appropriately researched methods, of course.
Unfortunately, her efforts proved unsuccessful, and she soon realised vomiting ‘could not be induced’ because – as Carmine puts it – her cats were ‘born and raised in dumpsters and are one with the trash’.
Carmine had no option but to wait for the cookie-stealing cat to start feeling the effects of the weed, and before long it became apparent it was her ‘raccoon shitten’, Carmilla.
The bemused owner snapped a picture of ‘the moment the drugs hit’, showing poor Carmilla looking entirely concerned:
The cat descended into a ‘stoned stupor’ and soon transformed into what Carmine brilliantly described as a ‘barely sentient breadloaf’. Carmilla eventually stumbled her way into her owner’s bedroom, and cried until Carmine plopped her onto the bed.
Once in more comfortable surroundings, the dazed feline ‘proceeded to sit… and stare at her paws and tail for a concerning length of time’.
Carmilla later reached what her owner likened to the ‘munchies-slash-emotional’ phase of her high, but rather than suddenly finding herself ‘crying in a Taco Bell drive-thru’, she was crying ‘behind the toilet, and in the bathtub, repeatedly’.
The cat then took herself off to hide under an armchair for a while, occasionally letting out a meow to let her owner know she was alive.
After about four hours of ‘anxious babysitting’ on Carmine’s part, the high began to wear off, and Carmilla was able to get back to some state of feline normality.
The owner admitted she shouldn’t have left the cookie unattended, as she was ‘fully aware that both [cats] would eat the entire actual trash can and all of its contents if they could fit it in their mouths’, and she warned other pet owners not to make the same mistake.
Although she made an amusing Twitter thread out of the experience, Carmine admitted it was ‘horrible’, and proving it is not something to be repeated.
Naturally Carmilla’s story took the internet by storm, though the cat didn’t seem all too bothered by her newfound fame:
I have no doubt the cat’s first experience of weed was a wild one – it was definitely an interesting way for her to learn not to steal her owner’s food!
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Emily Brown first began delivering important news stories aged just 13, when she launched her career with a paper round. She graduated with a BA Hons in English Language in the Media from Lancaster University, and went on to become a freelance writer and blogger. Emily contributed to The Sunday Times Travel Magazine and Student Problems before becoming a journalist at UNILAD, where she works on breaking news as well as longer form features.