Keeping Up With The Kardashians isn’t easy, especially at Christmas when their obscene wealth and wild parties overshadow your Lynx Africa box set.
But joking aside – we all knew you wanted Lynx really – what do you get for the Kardashian women who have everything?
While Kendall Jenner got a white Italian Greyhound puppy and Kylie Jenner got a portrait of herself – because there’s nothing she loves more – the Kardashian Kween, Kim, got a gift that she could really wrap her mouth around… And no, it wasn’t a Terry’s Chocolate Orange.
Kim Kardashian-West has been keeping an incredibly low profile ever since she was robbed at gunpoint in Paris, but her fans were given the first glimpse of the reality TV star on Christmas Eve.
She celebrated at her momager’s million-dollar Christmas bash, alongside family and friends, chowing down on corndogs and sipping fizzy pop through a straw.
The legendary party was star-studded as ever, but this particular so-called star sported an extra stud, shocking the army of Dash Dolls that have been dutifully awaiting Kim’s return to the limelight…
Kim proudly displayed her new lip ring on the ever-changing landscape of her face with a series of pouting selfies.
Khloe Kardashian dubbed her big sister’s new facial jewellery a success, calling Kim ‘a badass bitch’, presumably in the spirit of festive cheer, peace and goodwill on earth.
Although it’s unclear whether the piercing is real or simply one of those fake rings we all had when we were 14-years-old and weren’t ready to commit to our emo phase whole-heartedly, many of Kim’s fans are taking the videos at face value.
Since the robbery in October, Kim has been keeping her social media presence at an all-time low and has claimed she’s taking a step back from her public profile for the safety and sanity of her family.
However, her sisters seem to have ignored these Christmas wishes, posting photographs and videos of Kim on Christmas Eve for their combined millions of followers to fawn over.
Meanwhile, an enigmatic new NSFW Instagram account posted some videos of a woman presumed to be Kim twerking to publicise the release of some new Kim Kardashian emojis, in the most 2016 thing to ever happen in 2016.
After all, the whole family’s life is so steadfastly lived out online – as proven by the heart-wrenching public break up and reunion of Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian – it does beg the Kwestion…
If Kim Kardashian gets a lip ring but no one on social media sees it, does she really have a lip ring at all?
A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.