ASOS truly is the lazy shopaholic’s dream – with a simple scroll of the thumb, you can be introduced to a wild bonanza of clothes you didn’t even know you needed.
For example, I always assumed a key component of a pair of trousers was the crotch area; ensuring public decency and hygienic bus seats. How naive.
ASOS has now released us from the shackles of conventional trouser etiquette, opening up to the possibilities of strolling down the high street with a breeze on your bum cheeks but… with your legs modestly covered.
Think it can’t be done? Take a look at these bad boys. Ladies – and of course gents, no judgement here – let’s have a gander at ASOS’s Milk It Vintage military chaps. Tada!
…and for a closer look:
For just £45.00, you too can live your noughties era dreams; and will be all set to roll around in the mud like your favourite Dirrty girl Christina Aguilera.
Just in case anyone could miss the massive, gaping hole where your crotch will be waving hello, this area is outlined with a tasteful, studded diamanté embellishment.
Oh and they come in a very nice, practical shade of khaki.
I’m not entirely sure what occasion you would pull these on for but I feel the ‘military’ reference in the description is somewhat misleading.
Although I admit I am not 100 per cent clued up on the dress code of the armed forces, I’d imagine there are rules in place to ensure your bits and bobs stay firmly inside your pants.
However, this is admittedly a bold look and there will be some brave gals out there who will absolutely own this look on a night out; making everybody else feel weirdly jealous and puzzled at the same time.
The lady in this pic is wearing a leathery pair of hot pants underneath so I imagine it isn’t considered acceptable/alluring to stroll around with your fading Disney patterned knickers on show.
This of course isn’t the first time ASOS has been trying to unleash the nation’s crotch.
ASOS shoppers were recently left hot and flustered after spying the £75 Ragged Priest Black Label Chaps.
I mean, lets just take a moment to imagine rocking up on casual Friday in this thigh bearing, denim masterpiece.
One shocked shopper declared them to be ‘the jeans that people would wear when they can’t decide whether or not to wear a skirt or jeans’ while another dismissed them as being ‘only 82% jeans.’
However, other denim likers were more positive, with one jeans wearer making the following observation:
These are ideal for a lot of reasons –
1. Never have a sweaty gusset.
2. Real freedom of crotch movement.
3. No need for bangles with that thigh bling.
4. Denim goes with everything.Please feel free to add to this list guys.
Can’t really argue with that to be fair…
If I’m being honest, the most daring I get jeans-wise is a couple of rips at the knees. But all props to you if you fancy trying out this raunchy new look.
Maybe if bearing all is a bit much you could wear one of their extreme skirts underneath. Unless you want to show the world your Disney pants.
Jules studied English Literature with Creative Writing at Lancaster University before earning her masters in International Relations at Leiden University in The Netherlands (Hoi!). She then trained as a journalist through News Associates in Manchester. Jules has previously worked as a mental health blogger, copywriter and freelancer for various publications.