ShinestyI was not aware that the world was crying out for denim speedos, but here we are and here they are.
Thankfully for sensitive gonads everywhere, this beach bag ‘must have’ (?) isn’t actually made of denim, but the jarring likeness will no doubt still make you wince.
This bizarre, butt-hugging item is known as the ‘Jeado’, and will certainly make quite a statement down at the hotel pool.
The tightly fitted Jeado comes in three distinct denim-themed shades: the classic Daytona Dong Sarong, the jet black Houston Hog Holster and the no-explanation needed Assid Washers.
These bold briefs are the brainchild of Shinesty, who have praised their product for being ‘quick-drying, soft and smooth on your gear’.
According to the product description, this is quite a subversive item:
Our denim print swim brief, also known as the Jeado, also known as the Daytona Dong Sarong is just like that, except it is the above-ground hot tub of the swim brief world…or something like that. It is like eating a bag of chips in church.
Everyone looks over at you with disgust, but deep down they want some too.
And if you’re really risky you’ll combine those last 2 sentences, eating a bag of chips in church while wearing this denim swimsuit. You’ll probably get tossed out, but you’ll look and taste good doing it.
ShinestyFor the men who insists on wearing jeans to every occasion, their day has finally come.
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Jules studied English Literature with Creative Writing at Lancaster University before earning her masters in International Relations at Leiden University in The Netherlands (Hoi!). She then trained as a journalist through News Associates in Manchester. Jules has previously worked as a mental health blogger, copywriter and freelancer for various publications.