VetementsFor centuries, designers have been pushing the boundaries of fashion and crossing lines – and the line is now officially a tiny dot on the horizon.
The latest trend in denim has rendered the function of jeans – namely, to cover your butt with some material so as to avoid getting charged with public indecency – completely null and void.
Vetements have dropped their new jeans and they don’t actually cover your bum.
The French fashion house has collaborated with iconic denim makers, Levi’s, to change the way we see jeans – by helping us see more of each other’s butts, apparently.
The denim design features zip detailing.
But this is not the zip detailing you might remember from your formative teenage years – designed to make you look hard in your parachute pants while serving very little purpose.
Nope.
This zip detailing is fully functional and full frontal.
The French fashion house – who hit the mainstream last summer with their asymmetric distressed hem jeans which everyone went wild for – have done it again.
The jeans are for sale on online high-end brand website, MyTheresa.com for a staggering £1,295.
The good news is the jeans’ wildly expensive price tag means you get free postage.
The bad news is, you’ll be about a million times closer to having a Ben Stiller moment in There’s Something About Mary every time you go to the toilet. After all, that’s miles of zip in which to get things stuck.
The website reads:
VETEMENTS put an ultimately cool spin on high-waisted jeans with this design, crafted from dark blue washed denim and finished with zipped details at the front.
The loose-fitting pair comes with deconstructed elements and asymmetric hems. Show yours off with a basic white tee.
The saving grace here is the functionality of the zip, which means you can wear your Vetements jeans zipped up like a chastity belt, at half mast or deploy the full moon effect.
Zip with caution.
A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.