As far as fashion crazes go, ripped jeans just keep on coming back.
Whether a hole has appeared through natural wear and tear, or whether you’ve gone and bought yourself a pair of purposefully distressed denims, we’ve all probably worn ripped jeans at some point, and we’ve all probably thought sometimes they look good, and sometimes they don’t.
However, as the weather warms up and we adjust our outfits accordingly, some people are coming face-to-face (or should that be leg-to-leg) with a major flaw in the fashion of ripped jeans.
I’m sure you remember ‘hot dog legs’ doing the rounds on social media.
Well, this time, it’s hot dogs with added scorch marks:
We’ve all been caught out and forgotten the sun cream at some point during the summer, it’s kind of a holiday tradition, but this looks seriously painful.
One unfortunate leg-barer said:
Pre warning: do NOT wear ripped jeans in the sun
Another added:
On today’s episode of what not to wear: ripped jeans in the sun for 11 hours
Get yourself some after-sun, trust me, it’s a miracle worker.
And, if you’re going for a braver, leggier look, I’d suggest some factor 30 at the very least:
These ‘extreme cut out jeans’ are available for $166 at CARMAR Denim.
The designers describe the jeans as: ‘a high rise pant with large statement cutouts on front and back’.
Most people would probably assume a key component of a pair of trousers was the crotch area. Nope. How naive of everybody, ever.
Taking things one step further and making sure you’ll definitely need the sun cream, ASOS are now selling crotchless jeans.
It’s not that the crotch area of the trousers is slightly ripped or distressed, it’s that there just isn’t one.
These are jeans cut in half at the crotch and then hooked together with a chain and hoop. That’s it.
Have a gander:
The jeans will set you back £75 which, in my opinion, is pretty unacceptable for jeans that are cut in half.
Some have stuck up for the item, calling them a blessing in disguise.
One wrote:
I hope people buy them and wear them. I hope I see it on the street. It’ll brighten my day with a good laugh.
Everybody needs to realize that wacky and bad fashion on other people is a blessing in disguise– enjoy the entertainment and the difference between us. [sic]
While another disagreed:
I would have thought by now people would have brains by now as they pay through the nose for this material and its cheaper to buy a normal pair of jeans than just a few spare bits of scrap pieces saying its a pair of jeans lol. [sic]
There are just so many questions: what will the fashion industry do with jeans next? When do trousers becomes shorts? Why does buying clothes with less material somehow end up costing you more?
Answers on a ripped up postcard please.
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Charlie Cocksedge is a journalist and sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated from the University of Manchester with an MA in Creative Writing, where he learnt how to write in the third person, before getting his NCTJ. His work has also appeared in such places as The Guardian, PN Review and the bin.