Revenge porn can destroy the lives of victims and with so much more needing to be done, we hear from one girl whose ex-boyfriend shattered her trust.
Kira, who played the character Letitia Powell on Channel 4’s Shameless, said she felt she was to blame when her ex-boyfriend shared topless photos of her on social media and in a group chat.
It left the now-22-year-old’s confidence in tatters and she was unable to face going out.
She told UNILAD:
At that point I felt like a child, I just thought my mum would be so disappointed. I wasn’t a woman at all, I felt like a little girl really, it just made me feel really sick.
He tweeted a picture of me I’d sent to my ex. There was a group chat of all boys from Manchester so he was sharing it to lots of people. It makes you feel violated.
She added:
When you’re with somebody, you trust them. So you think ‘oh they’re never going to show anyone’ because they make you feel so comfortable at the time and they convince you it’s such a good idea at the time and you think ‘oh yeah ok’.
It made me feel like I was dirty and just the fact everyone has seen me just made me feel really violated and it knocked my confidence so much.
I didn’t go out for ages, I just thought everybody knew because everybody did know and I didn’t report it to anybody.
I didn’t report it to the police because I thought I was in the wrong, I took the picture.
Kira said although she blamed herself at first, she has come to terms with everything through realising she is not at fault for the actions of somebody else.
She told UNILAD:
I felt ridiculed a bit, I thought it was my own fault.
The person I thought I could trust the most did me really wrong and broke my trust and when somebody who holds that much trust breaks it, you don’t want to trust anyone.
I came to terms with it I think just through age and just realising I’m not actually in the wrong.
I sent a picture to my boyfriend who I could trust at the time, or thought I could trust, and he betrayed me.
Revenge porn, for those who don’t know, is when somebody posts personal and intimate photos or videos online without the subject’s permission.
Celebrities have been famously hacked and had their personal images distributed online, including Jennifer Lawrence, Mischa Barton and Rihanna, who at the time described it as the ‘worst thing that could possibly ever happen’.
Mischa Barton, found herself a victim of revenge porn when her ex-partner secretly filmed her engaging in sexual activity before trying to sell the footage online.
She bravely spoke out about it earlier this year, saying:
I came forward to fight this, not only for myself but for all the women out there. I want to protect them from the pain and humiliation that I have had to go through.
No woman should have to go through this.
Laura Higgins works for Revenge Porn Helpline, the UK’s only dedicated service supporting adults who are victims of revenge porn.
She wants to make it clear, it is never the victim’s fault, and she and her colleagues offer a range of fantastic support for those who need it.
She told UNILAD:
I read a story this morning where somebody had been given a three year custodial sentence and a police officer said you shouldn’t share images with somebody you don’t know very well, which I think is actually really bad victim blaming.
Adults should be able to trust people they’re sharing images with. If someone cares enough about you, to share an image with you, you have no right to post that or to share it. We’re really clear on that.
If you’re over 18 and you want to share an image with somebody, you have every right to do that without being abused by it.
She continued:
There is no advice we can give to a victim to stop them being a victim of revenge porn, because that is implying the victim is in some way to blame.
So if somebody threatens you or somebody does share your images, the first thing is don’t suffer in silence.
A lot of people try and pretend it’s not happening and unfortunately that’s where it can escalate and can be shared more broadly.
Come and talk to an organisation like ours, get support from a friend or somebody you can talk to about it because it can be such a devastating thing to deal with.
For most people, the most important thing is getting that content removed and that’s where we can come in and be really effective so just try and get some help to deal with it would be the advice.
If you’ve been affected by any of the issues, please contact Revenge Porn Helpline:
