Instagram / kyliejennerBringing a bouncing baby – unconfirmed or not – into this crazy, mixed-up world is always a joyous occasion.
Kylie Jenner, 20, is rumoured to be expecting her first child and I’m sure you’re sick to death of hearing about the alleged gender of the unborn innocent, whether Kylie is secretly Kim and Kanye’s surrogate, and if the baby will also benefit from the ever-growing klan’s notoriously nepotistic lifestyle.
But, I put it to you, how Kylie Jenner’s (reported) baby will bring with it a particularly beautiful new dawn.
Hear me out. The self-titled ‘baby boss’ and Kosmetics mogul has spent her life in the public eye, profiting from the limelight and building a loyal 100-million-strong army of tweens and adults alike who love to keep up with Kylie.
Her highly-curated social media presence is problematic. On Instagram, we rarely hear from Kylie Jenner, unless it’s to promote her brand. We are merely voyeurs to her distinctive, constructed and stoic aesthetic.
Likewise her Twitter feed is essentially an extension of her online shop and a promotional tool for her other collaborations.
My new sunnies collection is available NOW at https://t.co/NICJLajIao. Follow @quayaustralia for full details. #QUAYXKYLIE pic.twitter.com/U6J8J3uabi
— Kylie Jenner (@KylieJenner) October 4, 2017
You might get a more honest rapport from Snapchat… But does anyone even snap anymore!?
Even her reality TV show, the unironically titled Life of Kylie, is reportedly staged and scripted, right down to each and every minute detail.
In the trailer, she explains how she feels pressure to adhere to her own image:
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The life of Kylie is a strange and sad case of self-censorship, self-objectification and self-preservation which you can hardly blame her for, considering she’s unfairly hounded left right and centre by tabloids, while remaining utterly reliant on press for her livelihood.
…And, after perusing some of the sick, depraved comments on social media about both Kylie and her unborn innocent child, I’m guessing there’s a lot of people who would rather Kylie wasn’t in the public eye so much.
As much as it pains me to say, those cold-hearted folk may just get their way (if, and when) the little tyke comes along.
The newborn will usher in a new generation of Jenner, but more than that, the mini King could incite a new Kylie-free dawn of social media; the greatest gift of all.
The beauty businesswoman has already been incredibly quiet on Instagram since TMZ revealed she was expecting – but most of us would chalk it up to fear of systematic criticism pregnant women and their baby bumps face from keyboard warriors.
However, Kylie has previously dropped hints she wouldn’t be so active online if she became a mum, saying she’d prefer to immerse herself in a quiet family life.
PASpeaking about starting a family back in 2015, Kylie told Elle:
I would love to have a family and build a home with a farm in Malibu Canyon and just have my kids and throw away my phone, and just really, like, live my life and not do this anymore.
You know, I’ll probably delete my Instagram and just… I don’t know, live life.
If the rumour-mill is anything to go by, 20-year-old Kylie is six months pregnant and expecting her child with rapper boyfriend, Travis Scott, 25, in January.
The news was ever-so conveniently announced the day before the family celebrated the 10-year anniversary of the first episode of their reality TV show airing, suggesting the ‘social media guru’ is under the watchful eye of puppet-master-turned-momager Kris Jenner.
What she would think about a social media hiatus is beyond us all.
But, the dip in activity has been eerily frustrating for the self-titled Dash Dolls, who’ve been sending themselves west reading way too much into Kylie’s limited online updates, and creepily demanding to see a baby bump in the comments sections across the world wide web. Thus is the strange, baffling world we live in.
So, perhaps it would be better for everyone’s sanity if Kylie Jenner just subtly dropped under the radar; better for her obsessive fans to abandon their idol and carry on living their lives, better for the expectant mum’s self-worth in the face of a barrage of abuse and most importantly, better for her unborn child?
Just ask superfan, Johnny Cyrus, about the death threats he received from trolls:
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Kylie is a product of a social media generation. She sparks a dangerous cocktail of reactions from the public, ranging from reverence, to rage, to utter disrespect by way of ridicule and reckless indifference.
It’s not to say she’s responsible for the backlash she so regularly receives for simply existing.
It’s almost like it’s not personal – even though words can hurt her just as much as anyone else.
It’s almost as if she simply represents everything wrong and unjust about our capitalist system which rewards elitist connections and beautifully made-up faces.
Meanwhile Khloe Kardashian, her 33-year-old half-sister, is expecting a baby with athlete, 26-year-old Tristan Thompson and the gossip columns are saying both will announce their news formally with the Kardashian Christmas card.
According to HollywoodLife.com a source claims Kris Jenner ‘wants to take everyone’s excitement and use this year’s card to be the reveal of all the pregnancies in the family.’
It’s also claimed Kylie is planning a pregnancy photoshoot ‘inspired by Beyonce‘ while others believe Khloe and Kylie will team up for a nude pregnancy shoot showing off their bumps together.
Far be it for me – or any of us – to judge how a woman chooses to make her living, or a mother on her choices to raise her children.
But Kylie is a product – or victim – of the social media generation, a 20-year-old (allegedly) embarking on a huge journey into motherhood, which will only just begin in earnest in January…
Maybe by early next year she’ll have ‘realised enough things’ to see social media can be both a blessing and a curse – and make a really, really powerful New Year’s Resolution vlog, that I for one will be watching intently.
Kommence the search for yet another Kute baby name Kicking off with the letter K.
A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.