‘Some people achieve greatness. Others have greatness thrust upon them. And some people are just massive tossers.’
Calling all tossers! Britain needs you to prat around like Partridge and be like Brent… Make like Ron Burgundy and put your money in Schmidt’s douchebag jar because now is the time to celebrate all tossers.
Because tomorrow, Tuesday February 13, is only flippin’ Pancake Day, of course!
StagWeb are searching high and low – internet wide – for Britain’s biggest tosser this Pancake Day.
The UK-based company are even offering £100 prize money and an ornamental trophy for the tosser who reaches the dizzying heights of flipping flair.
If you’re all about flipping pancakes, and if you think you’re up for this toss-off challenge, then it’s really easy to get involved.
The so-called StagWeb Tosserati – or the pancake tossing judging panel, to us mere mortals – will judge the best videos, and UNILAD have been informed the scoring will be done on a points-based system.
The judges will be looking for a combination of artistic merit and creativity, untold height and distance, eye-watering accuracy and home-cooked hilarity.
StagWeb’s Director of Operations Steve Roddy told UNILAD:
While many people think they already know the world’s biggest tosser (a friend, colleague, boss), we want to make the title official.
We’re hoping to see some really extreme and creative pancake flipping, after all, Britain is a nation of artists and eccentrics so it’s time to showcase the best of the best and celebrate flipping greatness.
The rules are as follows: Most importantly, the pancake must clearly travel post-toss and no camera trickery or hidden wires may be used to create the illusion.
The toss can be performed by single or multiple tossers – and companies, teams, or government departments are welcome. You can even enter yourself or nominate a friend.
The pancake must be thrown and caught and only one pancake can be tossed at a time. Finally, the pancakes must be batter based and edible.
The conditions of entry continue:
Please do not nominate Piers Morgan. While we’re aware of his impeccable credentials we are searching for a different type of tosser.
For those who don’t want to throw away their chances to impress this Pancake Day, UNILAD Grub might have a few tips and tricks for you.
How about this unicorn pancake pan, then:
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StagWeb’s advice to all tossers continues:
Start practising flipping those pancakes, create a new, unseen flipping trick/distance/height/skill, get a friend to film you tossing and upload or send your video.
If need be, make sure your toss can be seen to scale (toss by a tall tree, lamp post or monument such as Nelson’s Column to show the height/distance/grandeur of your toss).
Here’s some #flipspo:
But here’s a PSA for hopeful tossers. There are quite a few pancake records already in place, and you’ll have to try really hard to batter (ahem) them.
The largest pancake ever was constructed by the Co-Operative Union Ltd, based in Rochdale, Greater Manchester. In 1994 they used 3 tonnes of batter to make a pancake measuring 15.01 metres in diameter and 2.5 centimetres thick.
Celebrity chef Brad Jolly holds the title for most tosses in one minute, with 140 flips in 60 seconds back in 2012, in Sydney, Australia.
The highest toss reached 9.47 metres, thanks to tosser Dominic Cuzzacrea, of Cheektowaga, New York, way back in 2010.
Back up to the North of England once more, 890 students and staff at the University of Sheffield garnered the record for most people tossing pancakes in 2012.
Mike Cuzzacrea, of Buffalo, even ran a marathon while flipping a pancake in a mere three hours, two minutes and 27 seconds in 1999 – flippin’ heck!
A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.