This Is What Trump’s First 100 Days As President Will Look Like

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So it happened. The inevitable. The unthinkable. To many, the downright ridiculous. Donald Trump has won the presidential election and is soon to become the 45th President of the United States. 

But what next? As the world gazes and guffaws in amazement, bewilderment, and fear – what will actually happen as this businessman and television personality, hated and loved equally, actually steps foot into the Oval Office?

Well first things first, nothing much will happen until January when Trump will officially be inaugurated and sworn into presidency where Obama will hand him his powers, reports The Telegraph.

And what more – Trump will actually be significantly more powerful than Barack Obama has ever been due to the fact that Republicans are now in control of the Senate, Congress, House and Supreme Court.

But then what? Will he really kick all Muslims out of America? Will he really build a wall between the U.S. and Mexico? And if so, who will pay for it? ‘The Mexicans’, they yell. In reality, this is where the going gets really good as Trump will be forced to actually work on his promises to ‘Make America Great Again’.

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First things first, Trump has promised that on his first day in office he will do everything he can to erase all traces of Barack Obama’s presidency and thus putting ‘America on a protectionist, nativist, track’.

Trump will do this, or so he claims, by working on America’s foreign policy, immigration laws, trade deals, and a fuck tonne more.

In terms of immigration – Trump has promised to deport ‘more than two million criminal illegal immigrants’ immediately. What makes this even better absolutely fucking terrifying, is that Trump has claimed that any countries which refuse to take these people back will not be able to send ANY of their citizens to the U.S. to live.

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But never fear, the wall is here! And Trump remains persistent and confident that a wall will be built to separate the U.S. and Mexico with the Mexican government paying for it – which is definitely going to happen…

Trump also plans on setting up an anti-immigration bill, aptly named the End Illegal Immigration Act which will apparently impose a two year prison sentence on any illegal immigrants who try to enter the U.S. twice – which will definitely be cost effective.

In relation to foreign trade, Trump has spoke openly about destroying existing trade deals – which has led political scientists to suggest the disintegration of western civilisation. He has too insisted that he will not listen to NATO and that the U.S. will not, for sure, defend any NATO members who come under attack.

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As part of his efforts to rid the U.S. of all Obama – Trump also plans to remove Obamacare – a healthcare reform which has already helped 11 million people afford health insurance.

But on the bright side Trump has said he will ‘knock the hell out of ISIS’ – so who’s the real winner.

This is a dark day not only for America, but for the world. Let’s all go to The Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.

UNILAD