If, like millions of other Netflix subscribers, you’re hooked on The Witcher, then you might want to consider applying for the streaming service’s ‘associate Witcher’ position… if you think you’ve got what it takes.
But what does it take to fulfil the role of associate Witcher I hear you ask? Well, if Netflix’s job post is anything to go by, you must have effective communication skills and find multi-tasking easy peasy.
In addition, and perhaps most importantly, you must be able to note and understand the difference between good and evil.
The next part is where things might get a little tricky for some applicants, as the post says anyone keen for the role must have their own horse and swords, and they should be able to lift several hundred pounds repeatedly. That’s me out then.
At this stage, I have absolutely no idea whether the latter points prove the post is entirely satirical, or whether the online streaming giant is actually looking for big, buff horsemen.
Anyway, if you fancy taking your chances at the role of a lifetime, all you have to do send an application over to witcherforhire@netflix.com. Applicants are being told to send in a minute-long video detailing their qualifications, and there’s a note that the submission videos may show up on Netflix’s social media account. So, don’t be offended if your application turns into some Twitter bants in the very near future.
Here’s the full job posting and requirements for anyone actually keen:
About the opportunity
• You’ll be one of many witchers responsible for the tracking and removal of all manners of monsters, beasts, demons, rogues, and more.
• Must have your own equipment! A horse, two swords, and a variety of potions are a must, while armors, chains, and other tools are recommended.
• Multitasking will be your normal. You’ll need to be able to carry out your current job while also providing mentorship for a young witcher because you will come to realize that it is your Destiny.
• Great for nature lovers—you will spend a large amount of your working day out of doors.
• We love horse people! If your best friend and trusted therapist growing up was a horse, you will fit right in.The perfect candidate will
• Hold a four-year degree from an accredited Witcher school or have equivalent life experience
• Be able to lift several hundred pounds overhead repeatedly
• Not be afraid to work independently and spend long periods of time alone; water coolers are few and far between
• Have an innate understanding of the lesser evil and the greater good
• Demonstrate excellent verbal communication skills, knowing how to negotiate with a wide variety of clients; written communication skills are a plus
• Be comfortable with a fast pace in all types of job environments, from city to swamp to forest to mountain
• Maintain flexibility—enough to duck a swinging tentacle or tangle with a ghoul—while being rigid enough to ignore the shouts of a crowd or the magical traps of a wizard
• Agree that the worst monsters are the ones we create
Although Netflix didn’t mention a closing date for the role, an appointed associate Witcher could potentially already be at work, given that the first project was allegedly given on December 20, which happened to fall on the very same day The Witcher season one was released on Netflix. Coincidence?
Either way, given the huge success of the debut series, it could definitely be worth jumping on the gravy train now, as a second season has already been announced.
Back in November, Netflix confirmed it will begin production on the second series of The Witcher in London in early 2020, for a planned release in 2021.
The Witcher tells the story of Geralt of Rivia, a monster hunter who kills mythical beasts for money. Despite his cynicism, Geralt does help those who need his help as he travels across the fictional land of The Continent.
If you haven’t already binged your entire way through it, you can catch The Witcher on Netflix now.
If you have a story you want to tell send it to UNILAD via story@unilad.com
Emma Rosemurgey is an NCTJ trained Journalist who started her career by producing The Royal Rosemurgey newspaper in 2004, which kept her family up to date with the goings on of her sleepy north east village. She graduated from the University of Central Lancashire in Preston and started her career in regional newspapers before joining Tyla (formerly Pretty 52) in 2017, and progressing onto UNILAD in 2019.