It’s getting to that time of year when scary clowns are doing the rounds again.
The combination of everyone’s favourite autumnal holiday (Halloween) coming around, and the return of everyone’s favourite scary clown (Pennywise) means the dream of summer is swiftly slipping away, and the days are getting darker in both senses of the word.
Now, thanks to a lovely bit of merchandising and capitalist cashing in, you can illuminate those dark days in a dark way with a very creepy, lifesize doll of Pennywise.
Check it out:
Standing tall at six foot five inches, this Pennywise doll – modelled, of course, after the evil cosmic spirit in the film It: Chapter Two, which just happens to be in cinemas right now! – this creepy clown is the perfect accessory for your Halloween party.
The figure features infrared sensor-activated actions, light-up eyes and scary quotes from the film – in the voice of actor Bill Skarsgård, no less.
Fancy a lifesize toy doll? Who doesn’t?! They’re very faithful companions. Head over to Spirit Halloween for yours.
If, however, you’re not comfortable with a six foot five Pennywise doll in your house at all times, but still want to celebrate the iconic character, why not light up your life with a red balloon lamp, so at least the idea of the killer clown still pervades your house.
On the other hand, if you don’t want any kind of Pennywise merchandise, but want as many creepy clowns in your eyeholes as possible, check out this documentary on real life scaremonger Wrinkles the Clown.
Wrinkles is a real clown in Florida, after some clever marketing and super creepy viral videos, he’s become a parent’s go-to guy when it comes to scaring kids.
Seriously – you can hire this guy to come and scare your kids when they’re acting up.
Check out the trailer:
The synopsis for the documentary reads:
Who is Wrinkles, and why is he doing this? With incredible access to the mastermind behind the mask, Wrinkles the Clown is a cryptic and playful exploration of these questions, as well as an inside look at myth-building and the unpredictable spread of imagination in the Internet age.
Anyone up for a lifesize Wrinkles the Clown doll for Halloween? Thought not…
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Charlie Cocksedge is a journalist and sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated from the University of Manchester with an MA in Creative Writing, where he learnt how to write in the third person, before getting his NCTJ. His work has also appeared in such places as The Guardian, PN Review and the bin.