Yorkshire puddings, aren’t they great?
I’m from Cornwall which – erroneously – according to my colleague is in the south, and I love them. Wrap me up in a Yorkshire pudding and I’m yours baby.
What’s that, there are Yorkshire pudding wraps? I need a lie down. Not only are there Yorkshire pudding wraps, which once I get over the excitement I’ll get around to explaining, but they’re also cheap. Stick a fork in me, I’m done.
It’s kind of like kebabs. You know, the good ones where they roll it up into a burrito like device? All that goodness, in a wrap, ready and waiting for you to devour it all in one go. None of that flapping around in a polystyrene tray. Just good, wholesome food, in a wrap and not down your shirt like the levels of your clumsiness would normally command.
Like a lot of things that are mind-blowingly incomprehensible, social media has been going off at this feat of culinary engineering.
Aunt Bessie’s have launched the Yorkshire pudding wraps so if you can’t be doing with cooking a whole roast dinner you can just presumably roast a bit of beef, a carrot, a potato and an onion and insert them into a handily consumable, snackable treat.
While this is probably earth-shaking news for people from Yorkshire, there is a little known transportable foodstuff known as a Cornish pasty which allows you to eat beef, onion and veg in a portable device. It’s literally been around for centuries. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long working here to herald the greatness of Cornish pasties. Cliché? Yes. Apposite? Abso-bloody-lutely.
And as someone from God’s country, I’ve taken inspiration from the pasty this week, making a portable dinner device of my own. Too busy to sit down and eat like a normal human being? Like Chicken Kievs? Boy, are you in for a treat, let me present the Chicken Kiev sandwich…
What you do is stick a Chicken Kiev in the oven while you’re slaving away at your desk and then about 20 minutes later put that bad boy between two slices of bread. Insert into mouth and relish in the chicken and garlic delight.
Of course, if you’re more of the Yorkshire pudding persuasion you could stick one of Aunt Bessie’s new wraps in the oven and hit things from that angle. But I’m not. Not gonna pretend that I am. I hate it when people pretend to be head over heels in excitement about things they know nothing about. It does journalism a disservice and adds fuel to Donald Trump’s fake news fire.
So what I can tell you about Aunt Bessie’s Yorkshire pudding wraps is they are available from Morrisons and cost £1.50 for a packet of two. Which, as I don’t know the going rate for frozen Yorkshire puddings, can only be described as the price of a packet of Aunt Bessie’s Yorkshire Bases.
Bet Gordon Ramsay is quaking in his boots.
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Tim Horner is a sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated with a BA Journalism from University College Falmouth before most his colleagues were born. A previous editor of adult mags, he now enjoys bringing the tone down in the viral news sector.