Set your moral outrage compass to fuming because Christmas is over, according to folk on Twitter.
What act of violence or cruelty to encourage absolute indignation to the extent we have to pull the shutters down on the annual shindig of celebration for the late capitalism and the birth of little baby Jesus?
Celebrations advent calendars of course.
Mars Incorporated, the company behind the boxes of chocolatey joy, has come under fire from people on the social media platform for their choice of treat behind door number one in this year’s advent calendar.
Everyone’s least favourite Celebration, the infamous Bounty, is behind today’s door. The bloody fools. What were they thinking?
While not owning a Celebrations or any kind of advent calendar this year, I can only share my empathy for the poor souls whose lives have been ruined by the technical error on Mars’ part.
Those affected by the issue have been a little less restrained with their language in their complaints online:
One tweeter, ‘courtney’ wrote:
Fuming that the first day of my advent calendar is a f*cking bounty
While ‘Tom’ said:
I got a fu*king bounty. How’s that gonna kick off my advent calendar?!
And user @Lukec1156 added:
Can’t believe I got all excited to open me celebrations Callander only for the first to be non other than a f*cking bounty F*CK OFF [sic]
Some people, who presumably realised that effing and jeffing into Twitter is like p*ssing into an ocean of p*ss, went to further degrees of outrage. Which is good, because swearing for the sake of it is only immature, and incredibly sad because how entitled are people going to get in 2018?
One user, ‘Nia’ shot a video for her tweet which probably helped spread the message:
What kind of monster puts a bounty behind the first door in an advent calendar Christmas is cancelled
Some on Twitter were more concerned about the concern about the Bounty issue:
One user wrote:
These people complaining about the #Celebrations advent calendar having a Bounty behind door 1 need to get a f*cking life, and also a clue.
Did you expect any different when you bought it? Tossers. #FirstWorldProblems #gladigotalindtone [sic]
While ‘Rich’ opined:
Bounty are my favourite but you’ve got to be a f*cking moron to buy one of those advent calendars the price they were charging vs a tub.
I’ll p*ss myself if there’s a bounty behind every door
#1stworldproblems
As Band Aid seem to sing on a yearly basis: ‘Do they know it’s Christmas?’, these guys don’t even know they’re born.
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Tim Horner is a sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated with a BA Journalism from University College Falmouth before most his colleagues were born. A previous editor of adult mags, he now enjoys bringing the tone down in the viral news sector.