A woman got the best revenge on a mean Tinder match who told her no one would ever find her sexy because of her stoma bag.
Annie Jenkins was so hurt she deleted the dating app, but she has since proved the person wrong, by posing in her underwear with her bag shown in all its glory.
The 31-year-old was born with a paralysed large intestine, and had an operation to have her ileostomy fitted in 2016.
While mum-of-one Annie doesn’t usually let ‘little comments’ about her condition upset her, she admits she was taken aback by the hurtful messages she received from a recent match.
The rude man told her it was an ‘awful advertisement’ of herself because he reckons no one will find ‘a woman who sh*ts in a bag sexy or attractive’.
But instead of ‘naming and shaming’ the fella, like most of us would be tempted to do, Annie decided to get her own back by posting the picture taken just six weeks after her life changing surgery, with an added, empowering message.
Annie, of Penzance, Cornwall, said:
I was fuming, at first I was extremely upset and then I got frustrated with myself for letting him get to me.
I’ve had a lot of negative comments and normally it’s water off a duck’s back.
But I’ve been single for a long time, and recently I’ve been feeling it.
Enraged by what she had received, Annie deleted not only the man’s ‘hurtful’ messages, but also her entire Tinder account.
She added:
The fact he had only swiped so he could be spiteful bothered me more than the actual comment itself, it was just really, really hurtful.
Despite the upset the stranger had caused, Annie refused to ‘out’ him, as she didn’t want to use social media to ‘promote bullying’.
Annie said:
If I was to name and shame that person, then that could open him up to a whole web of nastiness, and that’s not what I’m about.
When I’ve had it myself because of my situation, I don’t want to then bring it on somebody else.
Instead, Annie chose to share the image revealing her surgery scars and ileostomy bag – taken just six weeks after her rectal stump was removed, which made her ileostomy permanent.
Annie continued:
It might only be at a lake in Redditch, but if people could see the medication that I was on and the pain that I was in.
At that time I felt so vulnerable, sensitive and open to anything. And somebody’s been so negative and hurtful about that.
After her terrible experience, Annie has finally re-downloaded Tinder, however she’s still cautious about the whole dating scene.
She said:
I’m worried if I come across his profile again, obviously I know which way to swipe.
As a hardworking single mum, she has little time to socialise, so dating apps are the ‘only way’ for her to meet that special someone.
Annie said:
It’s the only way I can be open without getting embarrassed. I can put on my profile about my illness and photos wearing my bag and all my scars on show.
If I meet somebody in the pub, I run that risk of ‘well by the way’ and I don’t want to have that conversation, I’d rather somebody say ‘I saw your picture’, or notice it.
Annie believes her condition can sometimes be off-putting to potential partners because it involves ‘talking about faeces’:
The minute you mention poo to somebody it makes other people feel uncomfortable.
Never mind how it makes me feel, so it is a really awkward conversation to have, which is why things are hard when it comes to meeting somebody.
Despite dating setbacks, Annie is unstoppable, and passionately campaigns to raise awareness of ostomy to ‘prove that people with stomas can still have fun’.
Annie said:
Just because we’ve got a stoma doesn’t mean we have to limit our lives, and a lot of people tend to do that.
I try to prove just because I’ve got a bag, if anything I’ve got a better life because I’m not backwards and forward to the toilet and I’m not in pain.
However, on her mission to ‘teach and educate’ others, Annie has gained some unexpected admirers, as some of her 12-year-old son’s friends admitted they ‘fancy her’.
She explained:
It sounds ridiculous but it made me smile inside because there’s a new generation of men that are growing up.
If they come across somebody in the future with a stoma bag, because of me, they’re not going to go out of their way to send a message like this man has done.
What an absolute inspiration.
If you have a story you want to tell, send it to UNILAD via story@unilad.com
Emma Rosemurgey is an NCTJ trained Journalist who started her career by producing The Royal Rosemurgey newspaper in 2004, which kept her family up to date with the goings on of her sleepy north east village. She graduated from the University of Central Lancashire in Preston and started her career in regional newspapers before joining Tyla (formerly Pretty 52) in 2017, and progressing onto UNILAD in 2019.