NELKFor those who love CrossFit, look away now. A supporter of the much-maligned fitness method just got maxed out of a shop by a fake employee in a CrossFit prank posted online.
What to say of CrossFit, the gruelling fitness lifestyle some call a cult? Well, it’s not a popular programme to follow, according to the Fit Fam Gospel, unless you’re on the inside of the box and nailing your ‘WODs’ (daily workouts).
So, one self-titled prankster decided to air some dirty laundry and film it for all to see:
The unsuspecting – but proud – CrossFit regime follower was chosen to be the victim of this prank and targeted because he’d chosen that morning to wear a cap emblazoned with the word ‘CrossFit’.
The descriptive attire was clearly a red rag to a bull for the guy leading the prank, Kyle Forgeard – one third of the NELK – who has 394,000 followers, at the time of writing.
In case you missed them and had been living in ignorant bliss until this moment, the so-called social experiment and public prank channel is hosted by three friends – Kyle, Jesse Sebastiani, 25, and Lucas Gasparini, 22, who dub themselves the NELK Boys.
24-year-old Forgeard, who was pretending to be a Nike employee with branded name tags and all, spotted his prey and pounced. He approached the unidentified CrossFit guy amicably at first, asking about his cap, and getting a friendly response.
But Kyle quickly flipped the conversation around when he said:
I’m not selling any gym gear to someone who does CrossFit. I’m being serious. This is my section. You’re not allowed.
I’m not selling gym gear to CrossFit guys. Put that back. This whole section? No CrossFit. If I need to put up a sign I will. It’s my rule.
After initially laughing, the CrossFit guy quickly realised the ‘shop assistant’ wasn’t going to allow him to purchase the latest activewear which he could wear to his local box and quickly rip off after doing 375839568396 military presses.
He asked why. So Kyle said:
Because you do CrossFit, man. Do you want me to buy you gym membership?
The exchange continues when the shopper queries what the ‘shop assistant’ thought was wrong with his style of training, and asking whether he ‘runs, or something’?
Kyle, without breaking character, replied:
Do I run? Dude, I’m like the fastest guy in here. You know how fast I run? Dude, I’m like a f*cking horse. I train everyday, dude. I’m a baller. You know how hard I ball? Dude, I’m part of $hmurda Gang. I’m fast as f*ck.
Either way it’s my section, you know, so CrossFit guys can take a little lap. Let me see how fast you can run out of here. Let me buy you an LA Fitness membership. No more somersaults and gymnastics.
Refusing to give up – embodying the very motto of the CrossFit lifestyle, valiantly – the guy stood his ground, saying, ‘But I want those pants’.
The ‘shop assistant’ was quick to put paid to his dreams, removing the pants from his possession, and offering a trade deal: The pants for his cap.
As the shopper started to laugh, Kyle instead said if he could drop and do 50 push-ups relinquish the trousers, but when the guy refused, Kyle merely replied: ‘See, CrossFit guys never want to prove it.’
The prank was just a small nugget of the NELK boys’ fitness-related antics on this particularly slow day on YouTube.
You can watch the full video below:
The full ‘fake employee’ prank video has 1,272,268 views at the time of writing. Good for them.
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A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.