The NHS has revealed 164 people were treated for a fractured penis last year, an increase of 38% compared to 2014/15 – with the oldest guy being in his 70s!
Despite the fact I do not possess a penis myself, the idea of fracturing it sounds pretty horrific, and I can’t help but feel sorry for the unlucky sods who fractured theirs last year.
Penile fractures were most common in men between the ages of 30 to 40, but the oldest to have done it was a man in his 70s, with the youngest being a 18-year-old.
A penile fracture is a tear in the tunica albuginea, which is the rubbery sheath of tissue below the skin that allows the penis to increase in width and length to produce a firm erection.
Symptoms of a fractured penis include: an audible snapping or popping sound; sudden loss of your erection; severe pain following the injury; dark bruising above the injured area; a bent penis; blood leaking from the penis; and difficulty urinating.
Penises can ‘break’ when trauma or bending of the penis causes the tunica albuginea to snap. Ouch.
Gordon Muir, a consultant urologist at King’s College Hospital in London, told The Sun he thinks these statistics are just the ‘tip of the iceberg’ as many men are too embarrassed to seek treatment, despite the injury being seen as a medical emergency.
Normally patients come in with something looking like a bruised aubergine. Early surgical repair restores function in the long term.
But if you leave it to heal without treatment, there is a high chance of getting scarring, which can lead to Peyronie’s disease [a wonky willy] or internal leakage.
Healthline say the common causes of a penile fracture are: forceful bending of the penis during vaginal intercourse; a sharp blow to the erect penis during a fall, car accident or other mishap; or traumatic masturbation.
What you’d class as traumatic masturbation I’ll never know, and never do I want to know either.
On a different note, lads may be pleased to hear the myth of foot size being linked to penis length is just that – a myth.
Researchers at University College London measured the penises of 104 men, including teenagers and pensioners, and found no link between shoe size and penis length.
Some other good news – according to a study, small penises make big erections, so don’t worry when *inserts given name of penis here* looks a bit underwhelming when flaccid, shorter penises actually increase in size by 86% when erect. Good times.
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Niamh Shackleton is a pint sized person and journalist at UNILAD. After studying Multimedia Journalism at the University of Salford, she did a year at Caters News Agency as a features writer in Birmingham before deciding that Manchester is (arguably) one of the best places in the world, and therefore moved back up north. She’s also UNILAD’s unofficial crazy animal lady.