Nigel Farage And Bob Geldof Have Dramatic Sea Battle Over EU Referendum

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A battle of legendary proportions is currently being waged across our green and pleasant land over the EU referendum – and today the fighting took to the water.

It began when political loudmouth Nigel Farage tried to sail down the Thames to parliament with a flotilla of 30 fishing boats.

They were protesting the future of the British fishing industry and urging people to vote ‘out’, of the European Union, the Evening Standard reports.

However, his fleet was soon met by Bob Geldof who’d organised his own, admittedly smaller, navy representing the ‘In’ vote.

They reportedly blasted the fishermen with Chicago’s If You Leave Me Now and Dobie Gray’s In With The In Crowd.

Geldof also used his ship’s PA System to attack Mr Farage saying ‘You are no fisherman’s friend’.

The Boomtown Rats singer went on to point out that when Farage was on the fisheries committee for the European Parliament he only went to one out of 43 meetings.

Geldolf said:

You are a fraud, Nigel. Go back down the river because you are up one without a canoe or a paddle.

The pop icon went on to add in a later statement that, out of member states, the UK gets the second biggest quota in the EU and has the biggest profit of any EU member state.

Finally, Geldof said: ‘Leaving Europe would be disastrous for our country, our economy, our public services and our fishing industry.’

In response, Farage slammed into Geldof’s counter demonstration calling it ‘disgusting’.

The UKIP leader said:

These are communities that have been devastated. These are communities that no-one has listened to for years.

They are here today, they have taken – some of them – several days out of their working week to come and make their protest, to say ‘Look, we want to take back control of our seas, we want to get jobs back in this industry’.

To see multi-millionaires frankly mocking them is a pretty shameful sight.

Thankfully, despite some close calls, the Battle of the Thames ended rather peacefully with no-one getting hurt – physically at least, personally I think as a nation we all lost some dignity today – and both sides sailed off to plot their next move in the battle for Britain’s future.

The Telegraph’s political satirist, Michael Deacon, went along with the ‘Out’ team on the Thames to document the protests.

Here’s some of the highlights…

Easily the nicest thing the press has called Farage in a while…

Farage doesn’t like Geldof’s choice in music…

The fishermen are definitely out…

We do know UKIP had a bar on board…

Oh no, pirates and they’ve come to steal our future…

Wouldn’t put it past him…

He’s being shanghaied…

Safe and sound…

As amusing as all this is, it’s also kind of sad.

The EU referendum is one of the biggest decisions our country will ever make and these two old men don’t seem to be taking it particularly seriously at all…

Tom Percival

More of a concept than a journalist, Tom Percival was forged in the bowels of Salford University from which he emerged grasping a Masters in journalism.

Since then his rise has been described by himself as ‘meteoric’ rising to the esteemed rank of Social Editor at UNILAD as well as working at the BBC, Manchester Evening News, and ITV.

He credits his success to three core techniques, name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.