A couple who used a surrogate to help them have a baby have apparently said they don’t want the child after a rare mix-up meant the wrong man’s sperm was used.
The married couple’s alleged story was shared on the Reddit thread ‘AITA’ – Am I The Asshole – by the husband, who remained anonymous.
He claimed he and his wife had always wanted a child of their own but the woman had suffered multiple miscarriages and, at 43 years old, is now unable to get pregnant.
The pair reportedly decided to pay a surrogate to carry the baby, which was apparently conceived using the couple’s own sperm and eggs. However, when the baby boy was born the Reddit user explained he immediately ‘knew that there was something wrong’.
The husband described how the baby had ‘Asian features, black hair and brown eyes’, despite the fact both he and his wife were blonde with blue eyes. They raised their concern with doctors and asked for a DNA test, which revealed the husband was not the baby’s biological father.
The couple were ‘devastated’ at the revelation and contacted the surrogacy organisation and sperm bank for more information. It emerged there had been an ‘extremely rare mix-up’, though it’s not clear exactly who was at fault.
Instead of the husband, the sperm sample came from a donor who was of Asian descent. He is said to have been in medical school but the agency were not allowed to give the couple his contact information as he wanted to remain anonymous.
On Reddit, the husband claimed the company responsible offered to give the pair financial compensation as long as they didn’t go to the media or sue, however the man is still considering taking legal action.
Though the post suggests the baby is the wife’s biological son, the husband expressed he didn’t want to keep the newborn and in an update revealed he and his wife were planning to meet with an adoption worker to make sure the baby is placed in a loving home.
He said race was not a factor in the decision, explaining both he and his partner are just upset the young boy isn’t biologically related to both of them.
He wrote:
We don’t care about race, we are just upset that the baby wasn’t both of us, if he was white and not mine we still would of been just as upset [sic].
The post went on to explain the surrogate was also heartbroken to hear the news. It seems the possibility of her keeping the baby was raised, as the husband continued ‘[the surrogate] can’t afford to keep it as she already has five kids’, though it’s unclear if the couple were the ones to suggest she take responsibility.
The poster turned to the Reddit community for advice as he ended the post with ‘AITA for wanting to take legal action against the agency and not keep the baby?’
One person pointed out the baby is still biologically related to the wife, writing:
It seems like this is you [sic] wife’s biological child. So you’d be giving up a child that is half her because of the mistake the agency made. How can you two have tried for years, but be willing to give up a child that is half biologically your wife’s? What’s her opinion on giving up her kid?
Another simply said the situation was too serious for strangers to comment on, writing:
The judgement of random people on the internet is NOT going to help you during this time. This is way too big of an issue to turn to the internet for help with.
Hopefully the baby will be raised by a family who loves him for exactly who he is.
The original post has since been deleted from Reddit.
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Emily Brown first began delivering important news stories aged just 13, when she launched her career with a paper round. She graduated with a BA Hons in English Language in the Media from Lancaster University, and went on to become a freelance writer and blogger. Emily contributed to The Sunday Times Travel Magazine and Student Problems before becoming a journalist at UNILAD, where she works on breaking news as well as longer form features.