The dust has probably settled by now from your festive family round of Monopoly, though if yours is anything like mine, the resentment between the generations of owning property and perpetually owing landlords, is one which will last for decades. Look! Dog Monopoly!
Yeah, we might not be able to afford houses or children or quite even possibly dogs in our lifetimes of student debt, stagnant wages and a completely crooked housing market, so thank the doggy Gods there’s a board game to take our minds off the constant existential despair.
Available on Amazon for £39.99 with free UK delivery, Dog Opoly ‘celebrates our four-legged friends’ and is ‘a tail wagging good time’ – well that’s just sold me harder than the last time someone pretended to throw a stick.
Everyone knows the rules of Monopoly so I’ll only say ‘Sit!’ once – instead of places, you buy dogs, you get $200 for passing Go Fetch and instead of going to jail, you might wind up in the kennel?
The playing pieces have a canine theme too, obviously, including the option for players to move around the board as such doggy favourites as a scared cat, a food bowl, a postman or a fire hydrant – though it’s not clear whether it’s part of the official rules if players should relieve themselves on whoever is the fire hydrant?
You should be concerned really because it turns out, we’ve all been playing Monopoly wrong this whole time.
If the Amazon customer reviews are anything to go by, Dog Opoly is bursting with fun for all the family with an average 4.6 out of 5 stars from 58 reviews.
Some of the best comments include:
Brilliant. We already had horse opoly and this is equally as much fun. Well worth the money for the hours of fun we have had with our grandson.
Slight twist on the original game of monopoly – different enough to make it a good game with the principal being the same. The playing pieces are made from metal not the usual plastic which is lovely, and all the names are different.
The whole family has enjoyed this over Christmas. Not too childish – appeals to all ages. It’s been well thought through, so although it was a risky purchase, it’s proved well worth the money and risk.
The kids love it! It keeps them quiet on wet afternoons – also on cold ones ! The grown-ups don’t have to get involved.
I first played Horse-opoly last year and decided to order a copy for myself. Whilst looking I saw Dog-opoly and decided to get that as well. It’s great! It’s as much fun as the horse version and you learn about different dog breeds, but it’s one of the best board games to share with good friends. Enjoy it – I have!
Shut the front door – sorrynotsorry – there’s also a Horse Opoly if you’re of an equine persuasion, available for £28.98 and get this – if you think dogs are stupid and horses are animals that should live in the countryside along with the cows and the sheep, Cat Opoly is available for those of us with more refined animal tastes, though it’ll set you back over £50.
Well, whatever kind of animal lover you are, be glad your housing dreams are over and just go wild.
Tim Horner is a sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated with a BA Journalism from University College Falmouth before most his colleagues were born. A previous editor of adult mags, he now enjoys bringing the tone down in the viral news sector.