A quadriplegic man is calling for escort services to offer discounts to disabled people after he says they helped boost his confidence in the bedroom.
Alex Squires, 30, suffered devastating brain damage in a car crash more than two decades ago, leaving him with spastic quadriplegia – a condition which makes his muscles extremely stiff and difficult to control.
Because of his condition, Alex has to rely on carers to help with day-to-day activities such as eating, going to the toilet, and even being intimate – with care staff having previously helped him into bed with a partner.
In that relationship, because both Alex and his partner used a power chair, both needed hoisting into bed so they could be intimate together. Since the relationship ended, the 30-year-old has turned to escorts to satisfy his needs.
However, he has found he has had to pay for expensive call-outs to his home because of his disability, as he requires the use of a hoist and so can’t go to the sex workers directly.
Alex, from Bassingham, Lincolnshire, said:
One particular problem that irks me a bit about using escorts is that they always have to be out-calls. I can never go to the escort’s place because they aren’t accessible and they don’t have a hoist.
Out-calls are always more expensive which is a bit frustrating. I would go to their place if I could. Maybe escorts should give disabled people a discount so that they are the same price as in-calls.
Alex lives with his parents and so is only able to call escorts when they are away, which only amounts to him using their services about once a year. Since his seven-year relationship ended in 2015, the 30-year-old has only been able to relieve his sexual frustration twice with sex workers.
Explaining how escorts can help combat loneliness, which Alex says ‘is a problem for a lot of disabled people’, he also points out the benefits the services can have on mental health.
Stating ‘it doesn’t have to just be about sex’, the 30-year-old adds: ‘Just a cuddle or any type of physical contact is nice, because I don’t have physical contact with anyone on a regular basis apart from my carers.’
Alex added:
Some people have said that disabled people don’t have a human right to have sex. They should have as much access to escorts as able-bodied people.
Escorts have made me a bit more confident in regards to sex then I was before. Hopefully by talking about them, it’ll help other disabled people to see them as a possible option.
Alex sees escorts as playing a valuable role in ensuring disabled people enjoy full sex lives, but says the fear of the unknown when contacting the services often prevents them from doing so.
He explained:
My mission has always been to raise awareness of disability and hopefully inspire and inform other disabled people. I don’t think escorts will solve the problem completely, but they are a means to an end for disabled people who are sexually frustrated.
It’s important that there are more [sex workers] who say they are happy to work with disabled people, because this gives us more confidence in contacting them.
Charities do exist for this purpose; the TLC Trust is dedicated to helping disabled people easily find safe sexual services which are right for them.
Dr Tuppy Owens, of TLC, said the charity helps those who haven’t previously had sex and who ‘want to learn what their bodies are capable of’, as well as others who are ‘sexually frustrated’ and who need sex but can’t find a partner.
Ideally, Alex says a ‘long-term, loving relationship’ would be ‘much better’ than using the services of escorts, because ‘you can’t have love with an escort’. Ultimately, he hopes to find an able-bodied partner who he can have a loving relationship with.
The 30-year-old says this is because his last relationship – with a woman who was also in a power chair and who lived in a care home – was ‘frustrating’ because they weren’t able to hug or kiss each other when they wanted to.
Although the carers would leave them alone once they were ‘in position’, Alex still found it ‘awkward’ having to be positioned by a third-party in the first place because it wasn’t private.
Alex hopes that by speaking about his experiences, he can help improve disabled people’s access to sex services in the future.
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A Broadcast Journalism Masters graduate who went on to achieve an NCTJ level 3 Diploma in Journalism, Lucy has done stints at ITV, BBC Inside Out and Key 103. While working as a journalist for UNILAD, Lucy has reported on breaking news stories while also writing features about mental health, cervical screening awareness, and Little Mix (who she is unapologetically obsessed with).