Guy Says Tinder Match Is ‘Thick As Two Planks’ After Just Two Messages

By :
@sh_akes/Twitter/Getty

Tinder, the modern day minefield of awkward questions, jokes which don’t travel well over text, and occasionally a date or two.

Advertisements

You know how it is, you get a match, if you’re really lucky you’ll get a bit of patter between the two of you. Great signs of potential things to come.

And then after waiting for a decent bit of bants to show up at your door, the conversation takes a turn for the worse.

Advertisements

You put your foot in something, carelessly mention an ex, or one of the many other pratfalls that can come between two people bumping uglies through the magic which is online dating.

Advertising

One man discovered the way to a girl’s heart isn’t through taking the piss out of their political thoughts or lack there of – to be more specific – after posting the gambit ‘Tories are scum’.

It started off all so innocent in the chat. Twitter user ‘Shakes’ explained he’d started getting into Harry Potter ‘until JK Rowling came out as a massive fucking Tory on Twitter’.

Getty

Emily’s reply, innocent enough, ‘So your [sic] into politics?’ came loaded with the dreaded face with rolling eyes emoji. Red flag, right there, fella.

Advertisements

Now this is probably where I’m going wrong in my Tindering, because Shakes followed it up with ‘I’m just into people not being driven to suicide because of Tory policies really. Tories are scum.’ Which I swear I’ve written in a message on Tinder.

‘I don’t really know anything about it tbf so I can’t comment’, Emily replied.

Thing is, when something like this comes up, best practice is to think ‘Alright, alright, you watch Bake Off?’ – or something else seemingly innocuous.

Advertisements
Getty

Instead, Shakes channeled Debate Team Casanova, and wrote:

Do some reading. Politics affects everyone’s life in some way or another. Make sure you’re voting for what’s best for you.

Which is a boner kill. In the interests of equality I’m going to use my male privilege to assume women can also have lady-boner kills.

Advertising

Emily shut him down saying, ‘I don’t really care’ which elicited Shakes’ reply of ‘Thick as two short planks.’ With a full stop.

Advertising

Pretty sure the conversation was dead in the water after she said she didn’t care, but I’m glad we’ve got clarification this one’s game over by that use of punctuation.

The replies to the tweet have been coming in thick and fast and unsurprisingly, split between those in support of Shakes’ online dating approach, and those aghast someone could act/think in such a way.

Ain’t adulting fun!

If you have a story you want to tell send it to UNILAD via stories@unilad.co.uk