Guy Thinks He’s Reading Harry Potter, Abruptly Finds Out He’s Not

Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone/Warner Brothers

A guy who thought that he was reading JK Rowling’s beloved Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was in for a shock when he realised that he was actually reading an elaborate work of fan fiction.

Chris Chappell had somehow, magically, missed out on peak Potter mania and was reading his way through the series as an adult.

Alarm bells started to go off for his friend, journalist Shelley Zhang, when Chris began to try and discuss some of the stranger elements of Order of the Phoenix with her…

Now, spoiled cousin Dudley was an absolute pain in the backside, and it was pretty fun when he got trapped in a snake enclosure in Philosophers Stone.

However, do we really want to see the tubby teenager essentially commit suicide after being placed under the imperious curse? That’s some pretty heavy stuff!

And things only got weirder from there…

For those who didn’t queue outside of Waterstones as a pre-teen to get their latest Hogwarts fix, Order of the Phoenix is the fifth book in the boy wizard saga, and involves Harry meeting a rebellious order that are fighting against the diabolical dictator Lord Voldermort.

The plot is mildly darker and more political than previous instalments and even involves some more adult scenes of violence. However, I wouldn’t have described necrophilia as being a particularly integral part of this classic children’s tale of good and evil…

Other stranger elements of the imposter book include Dumbledore having had a twin who may have had sex with a goat and Neville having withdrawal symptoms after getting addicted to a potion.

Alternative Harry also has a pet snake called Sandy that can see into the future and at one point is able to turn into a flying lion.

There is also some off-the-wall character development, including a sort-of-interesting backstory that reveals stuck-up Aunt Petunia hated her sister Lily because she refused to use her witch magic to cure their mother’s cancer.

Harry Potter/Warner Brothers

There are a few crushes here and there in the official Order of the Phoenix , and even a little bit of ‘snogging’.

However, it is most certainly a very innocent young adult book and anything remotely romantic is pretty PG-13.

Nowhere, and I repeat nowhere, in the book’s 266 pages is there anything akin to the following X-rated nipple action scene between Harry and Hermione:

Chris’s version even suggests the idea of wizarding birth control as well as the idea of scowly potions master Severus Snape having had a sexual relationship with Harry’s mum Lily, back in the day.

Chris can be perhaps be forgiven for falling for this potty publication. Wizarding world fan fiction is still rife years after the final book was published, with super fans never tiring of rewriting the epic fantasy to suit their own conclusions and theories.

However, mischievous Shelley could not resist tricking her poor deceived friend once more with the following tease:

We love Chris and Shelley who are now winning Twitter just like JK herself. We just hope that Chris has some Felix Felicis on him next time he is looking for something new to read!

Julia Banim

Jules studied English Literature with Creative Writing at Lancaster University before earning her masters in International Relations at Leiden University in The Netherlands (Hoi!). She then trained as a journalist through News Associates in Manchester. Jules has previously worked as a mental health blogger, copywriter and freelancer for various publications.