An ingenious girlfriend has set up a Twitter account specifically to tweet all the weird shit her boyfriend says in his sleep – and it’s hilarious.
The resulting collection of tweets will probably make you happy that your sleep chat isn’t in the public domain, and it also highlights just how fucked up our nightly journeys through dream-land really are.
No octopus you can't do that!!
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) October 19, 2015
Your eyeballs smell like eyeballs
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) February 17, 2016
Aw yisssssss mother fucking apples
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) January 30, 2016
Him: What color is the diamond?
Me: What?
Him: WHAT COLOR IS IT
Me: idk, black??
Him: What are you, stupid?— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) November 11, 2015
To be honest, not everyone would want someone posting everything they say in their sleep for the whole world to see – not everyone can have that much faith in their subconscious – but he doesn’t seem to be too bothered by it.
The tweets range from silly to downright offensive but when Caitlyn (apologies if that is the wrong spelling!) asks her fella – lovingly nicknamed Sir Lord Dick Pat Fowler Esq The 3rd – how he feels about being ‘internet famous’ he sleepily replies: “I don’t care.” To which she responds: “He’s a lot funnier in his sleep, that’s for damn sure.”
I saw you with the apple.
Whore.
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) January 26, 2016
I don't care, I'm getting tigers.
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) January 8, 2016
There's never enough nacho cheese.
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) December 4, 2015
Why is it doing that. Why is it cold. Get me a leg.
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) November 28, 2015
We have to get to the sewers… Turtles…
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) October 28, 2015
Sir Lord Dick Pat’s Twitter account is fast on its way to around 3,000 followers – which isn’t too shabby for a feed consisting entirely of unconscious thoughts.
Come to think of it, maybe that’s what has been going on with Kanye’s account recently – although probably not.
