A boyfriend has left people in hysterics after reviewing a £25.99 Amazon sex toy, which he says was so effective his girlfriend thought she had ‘killed him’ after she sent him ‘flying’ across the room.
Despite the injuries he sustained, the boyfriend – known only as Jay – left a five-star review of the Luvkis Oral Stimulation Massager titled: ‘Buy if you want an exorcism.’
Jay explained how he had bought his girlfriend the toy to give her the sensation of oral and penetration at the time, although he didn’t have high expectations because of the low price.
The unsuspecting guy’s review went viral after being shared on social media, with many saying they now intended to buy the vibrator after hearing his complimentary words.
Jay wrote:
Okay, so I bought this for my girlfriend because I really dont [sic] like giving her head. It’s nothing against her, I just dont [sic] like doing it… Didn’t have high hopes for this due to the price, and expected it to be pretty weak, but I tried it non the less [sic].
It was a little tricky at first trying to find a position that worked for the both of us, but when we found it, it was go time. So I slid in, she turned it onto the first setting and we got going, after about 30 seconds, she pressed the toy down aaanddd… Well, I can’t remember the rest.
Apparently she instantly came that hard that her legs kicked out, hit my jaw, I went flying back and landed on the radiator. She thought that she had killed me.
Luckily, Jay made a quick recovery after taking ‘a few paracetamol’ and putting a ‘frozen bag of peas’ on his jaw.
He did jokingly warn others to ‘wear some form of riot gear’ to protect them from any ‘physical damage’ that might occur during the process though, so maybe he’s still a bit scarred from the whole ordeal.
Jay then hilariously signed off the review with: ‘Yours truly. A damaged boyfriend.’ His review entertained a lot of people, with the person who posted the initial tweet writing: ‘Review on Amazon give me life,’ alongside five laughing emojis.
If the sales for the product didn’t go through the roof as soon as his review went viral I’d be very surprised, particularly because one person wrote: ‘I’ll take four please.’ Another wrote: ‘Omg that’s brilliant. I’m off to order one now.’
Review on Amazon give me life 😂😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/O6zWGKBD7r
— Moira X (@whoismoira) January 8, 2020
One person was sceptical of the generous review though, writing: ‘They’re crap. He’s lying.’
Regardless of whether he’s telling the truth or not though, I think we can all agree it made for a great story and Jay needs to get a full-time job as a professional reviewer. Please and thank you.
Hopefully he has since fully recovered from this traumatising incident.
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A Broadcast Journalism Masters graduate who went on to achieve an NCTJ level 3 Diploma in Journalism, Lucy has done stints at ITV, BBC Inside Out and Key 103. While working as a journalist for UNILAD, Lucy has reported on breaking news stories while also writing features about mental health, cervical screening awareness, and Little Mix (who she is unapologetically obsessed with).