PAAccording to Jennifer Lopez, men are useless until they hit 33. Which is good news for someone such as myself, I’ve only got two more years until she considers me useful.
As someone who is experienced in the art of relationships, having been in long-term relationships with the likes of P Diddy and Ben Affleck – as well as three marriages, Jenny From The Block would know a thing or two about finding the ideal man.
In a video series created by Tinder, dubbed Swipe Sessions, Jennifer Lopez played matchmaker for a singleton and passed on some sage life advice.
Dating in 2018 is hard, as a generation who is completely at the mercy of our smartphones, finding a compatible life partner (or a plus-one to your cousin’s wedding) has now been boiled down to a simple algorithm of data and statistics.
Luckily for 29-year-old country singer Brooke, who is on the hunt for a ‘man’s man’ who can also ‘chop wood’ (I don’t think that’s a euphemism), J.Lo was on hand to help her out.
She helped by weeding out those profiles which didn’t fit the criteria – including one guy whose bio stated:
If you store ketchup in the refrigerator, it’s not going to work out.
It was at this point the actress and singer gave Brooke some life-affirming advice. She told her:
Guys, until they’re 33, are really useless
While it seems like a generalisation on those of us younger than 33, there is a hint of truth to Lopez’s statement.
Speaking to INSIDER, Dr Jane Greer, a New York-based relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship, claims:
It can take men into their early 30s to establish their professional career and feel a sense of financial stability, which helps them feel more secure in life.
As a result, this can give them the maturity that comes with accomplishment, experience, and success.
PexelsOf course, the theory doesn’t apply to all men in their 20s, there are plenty of cases where men within that age bracket who mature personally and professionally. It does, however, offer an insight as to why most men are not ready to commit to a full-time relationship until they’re near their 30s.
Greer goes on to explain:
Sometimes you see a guy who’s been in several relationships but then, in his early 30s, suddenly he meets a woman and is ready to marry her.
In social circles, the idea of commitment is often joked about, particularly among young bachelors and bachelorettes. There’s this idea that ‘settling down’ is the death knell for romance. It’s why a lot of people are quick to label themselves as ‘commitment-phobic’.
But according to the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), it is a recognised condition known as ‘sarmassophobia’.
Speaking to UNILAD, relationship therapist and accredited BACP member Cate Campbell explained ‘sarmassophobia’:
Basically, sometimes people have an aversion or fear of romantic physical intimacy – this isn’t necessarily a fear of intercourse but of kissing and cuddling; what some people might call foreplay.
It’s also sometimes used to refer to a fear of dating, though it seems to be the consequences of dating (touch) which are the problem.
To find out more about sarmassophobia and the fear of commitment click here.
If you have a story to tell, contact UNILAD via [email protected].
