issybellefox/InstagramChildbirth is a beautiful, natural, pure experience – according to popular wisdom and those who never have had to do it.
Mothers, on the other hand, know it can be painful and long and a really crappy experience – you just hope the sprog at the end is worth it.
One mum who gets this more than most is Issy Fox, 28, who has been through the ringer with her birthing experience after she pooped with every contraction – and couldn’t stop.
Writing an entry for the Huffington Post, Issy recalled:
The midwife asked me to go and provide a wee sample – and this is when the poo started. I couldn’t help but push a poo out into the tray because of all the pressure.
The midwives just laughed it off and waited for me to just provide some pee.
By 7am my contractions were getting really close together and causing a lot of pressure – I was pooing with every contraction and the midwives were very subtly swiping it away.
Unfortunately, my arse was facing Luke most of the time so he also had the pleasure of watching a log fall out every minute or so.
She continued:
I began pushing – and pooing. The baby was still not budging and was back to back so I needed forceps. The insertion of the forceps was probably the one time I didn’t think I’d be able to handle the pain but I got through it and pushed with everything I had.
I tore and exploded poo, womb stuff and blood all over the doctor, walls and floor.
My baby landed on top of me covered in gunk and opened his little eyes and looked at me. He was covered in my poo, his poo, blood and god knows what else. My first words were: ‘I love you, but you’re disgusting’.
Issy concluded by saying she understands there is ‘little dignity in childbirth’ but she was happier than ever because all she wanted was ‘for my son to get out safely’.
Congrats to the new mum!
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A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.