When it comes to toast, everyone knows the rules – brown for first course, white for pudding. Brown is savoury, white’s the treat. Of course, I’m the one who’s laughing because I actually love brown toast.
But what are the rules when it comes to the crusts? Does anyone secretly prefer the crust? I’m sure there are people out there who do. But if you’re making a sandwich, I doubt anyone really wants to stuff their filling between two chewy crusts.
Usually, whether you go for pre-sliced bread or prefer a crusty bloomer, both crusts will get left to the end, at which point they’re either a bit stale and you compost them, or chuck them to the ducks (don’t do this though, it’s not good for ducks).
However, when you’re faced with nothing but crusts, what are you going to do?
Unfortunately, Timea Ganji was forced to asked herself that exact question. She was making sandwiches for her kids’ lunch when she made the exasperating discovery that the loaf of bread she’d bought was nothing but slices of crust.
As she told BBC News:
It’s not funny first thing in the morning, when you have half an hour to get the kids to school and there’s no time to get another loaf.
It just looked like a normal loaf when we bought it. Because of the yellow packaging, you can’t see it properly. You can see it’s sliced, but you couldn’t see it is all just crusts.
Then, in the morning, I just wanted some toast and to make sandwiches and I was just staring at it. I don’t really understand how it can happen.
Kingsmill, the bread makers, were also baffled, and are investigating how the mix up could have happened. In the mean time, they’ve sent Timea a ‘more conventional loaf’.
The mum-of-two posted a picture of her surprise loaf on Facebook, and while some people suggested certain benefits of eating the crusts, Timea saw things differently.
She said:
Maybe I’d like curly hair but I don’t want a hairy chest.
I don’t mind eating them. I love baguettes with butter on them, or an end of sourdough or tiger bread, but these ends are not as tasty.
You can’t make sandwiches with them and the kids won’t eat them.
One thing’s for sure – no one kneads this kind of stress in their life.
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Charlie Cocksedge is a journalist and sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated from the University of Manchester with an MA in Creative Writing, where he learnt how to write in the third person, before getting his NCTJ. His work has also appeared in such places as The Guardian, PN Review and the bin.