NASA Says There’s A New Zodiac Sign And People Are Very Angry

Wikimedia

As a Libra I’m a naturally balanced and calm person so what the fuck is this shit that there’s a thirteenth astrological sign!

For those among you who swear by your daily horoscope and for whatever reason believe that stars millions of miles away somehow have an effect on our lives, and indeed destinies, then we’ve got bad news.

It’s all nonsense. And not just nonsense because it doesn’t exist, but nonsense because it turns out there’s a thirteenth astrological symbol that no one told you about called Ophiuchus.

Ophiuchus himself wrestling his snake mate - Wikimedia

The news, that will devastate fortune tellers around the world, comes from NASA who I credit with knowing a lot more about the cosmos than Mystic Meg wannabes.

So if you were born between November 29 and December 17 then you’re now the long ignored Ophiuchus and as an added bonus all the other astrological dates have shifted as well changing a lot of people’s birth signs, Key 103 reports.

Twitter naturally went into meltdown over the news…

https://twitter.com/OMdy_/status/777059943967064064

https://twitter.com/danimayonnaise/status/776826989168693248

Fun fact though, Ophiuchus is nothing new people have been known about it for years they just chose to ignore it presumably because the Babylonians did the same while they were hammering out the calendar.

Here is the updated list of horoscopes thanks to Ophiuchus.

Capricorn: Jan 20 – Feb 16
Aquarius: Feb 16 – March 11
Pisces: March 11 – April 18
Aries: April 18 – May 13
Taurus: May 13 – June 21
Gemini: June 21 – July 20
Cancer: July 20 – August 10
Leo: August 10 – September 16
Virgo: September 16 – October 14
Libra: October 14 – November 23
Scorpio: November 23 – November 29
Ophiuchus: November 29 – December 17
Sagittarius: December 17 – January 20

Virgo my new sign - Wikimedia

For the record this makes me a Virgo, not a Libra, and they’re apparently notoriously critical which considering my withering criticism of astrology seems apt.

Maybe there is something in this…

UNILAD