As Black Friday looms on the horizon, forget rushing to get bargain games, clothes and electronics. Buy your loved ones a lifetime with Mother Palm and her five daughters, courtesy of Pornhub.
It’s the worst Christmas shopping day of the year. Like a scene out of 28 Days Later, people can turn rabid, sprinting from aisle to aisle, grabbing items with vicious disregard for manners or decorum.
However, Pornhub are giving people an alternative to your traditional gifts: LifePlan.
Check out Pornhub’s promotional video for LifePlan below:
Starting on Black Friday, November 29, users can purchase LifePlan, a lifetime subscription to Pornhub’s premium service, unlocking a smorgasbord of extra content – including more than 100,000 exclusive videos, no ads, and content in 1080p, 4K, and VR. Here’s the best bit: all you need to pay is a one-time fee of $299.
You better be quick, though: the deal is only available until the end of Cyber Monday, December 2, so don’t miss out on, quite literally, the bargain of a lifetime.
Currently, subscribing to Pornhub Premium for one year costs $95.88. For $299, you’re paying roughly the equivalent of three years for a whole life of fapping.
Pornhub’s vice president Corey Price says it’s the perfect gift for loved ones this Christmas.
In a press release, Price said:
Every year for Black Friday – which is typically the busiest shopping day of the year – we’re inundated with doorbuster deals for electronics, clothes and more. While you’re stocking up on traditional gifts, make sure you treat those you love most with the gift they really want and need.
What’s hotter than a freshly fried latke and better than cuddling up to your yuletide cutie by the fire? A lifetime membership to Pornhub Premium.
If you’re not keen on the heftier lifetime deal, Pornhub is also offering subscribers the option to get an extra four free months added on to a 12-month subscription.
But let’s face it: if you’re spending the money on a year just to get the extra four months, you may as well fork out an extra bit of cash to secure a lifetime of premium, 4K coital action.
As well as porn, you may be lucky and catch some unexpected episodes of telly. Just recently, the first episodes of Rick and Morty‘s fourth season were leaked on the website, hidden among the ins and outs of the vast library.
For more information regarding LifePlan, click here.
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After graduating from Glasgow Caledonian University with an NCTJ and BCTJ-accredited Multimedia Journalism degree, Cameron ventured into the world of print journalism at The National, while also working as a freelance film journalist on the side, becoming an accredited Rotten Tomatoes critic in the process. He’s now left his Scottish homelands and took up residence at UNILAD as a journalist.