Protective Dad Asks Daughter’s Boyfriend What His Porn History Is Like

Aleisha Stubley/Facebook/Aleisha Stubley/Twitter

It’s natural for fathers to be protective over their children, but one dad went the extra mile by presenting his daughter’s boyfriend with a list of questions about his personal life. 

Aleisha Stubley, from Middlesborough, shared a photo of everything her dad wanted to know about her boyfriend Andy after he joined the family for dinner for the first time.

While most parents would probably ask politely about the partner’s family, job and interests, Aleisha’s dad dove straight in at the deep end by asking Andy some very personal questions – the most invasive of which was undoubtedly: ‘what is your history with pornography?’

Universal Pictures

Now, there’s a number of ways to impress your partner’s parents, but having to recount your porn history certainly isn’t one of them. Hopefully Andy gave a relatively PG answer for that one.

The list of questions was titled ‘Son in law material’ – a headline which immediately told Andy what was expected of him. Aleisha’s dad had even gone to the trouble of laminating the document, suggesting that if the new boyfriend didn’t make the cut then he’d be able to save it for the next one, or perhaps this isn’t the first time the document has been used…?

The protective father started out with a few tamer questions, asking where Andy sees himself in five years, what he sees in Aleisha and what Andy’s ‘intentions’ for his daughter were.

Things then got a bit more intense, as question four read:

How well can you provide for a wife and family?

I have to say, this question is a bit outdated as Andy shouldn’t be expected to provide for a wife and family – Aleisha should have no issue providing for herself, thank you very much.

Stereotypes aside, however, the question was one that probably made Andy’s life flash before his eyes. Considering this was only the first time he’d met Aleisha’s parents it would be safe to assume the couple haven’t been together too long, but the dad is practically marching them down the aisle and picking out baby names.

The love, marriage, baby in a golden carriage scenario wasn’t going to play out until the dad had some more information though, and when it came to question five he bluntly asked about Andy’s porn-watching habits.

PA Images

I’m not sure what the appropriate answer to that would have been. How does the average person describe their history with porn? Maybe it would have worked better as a multiple choice.

The placement of question six makes me think it was meant to act as a trap, as the father asked: ‘Are there any activities that you two enjoy doing together?’

After having just put the idea of porn into Andy’s head, I suspect the dad was trying to trick him into responding to question six with something like: ‘Yes, sex’. That would have probably been enough to strip him of the son-in-law title, but hopefully the boyfriend managed to avoid falling into that hole.

The next couple of questions continued the personal trend as he asked Andy whether he had a temper and how many women he’d been with before Aleisha.

Aleisha Stubley/Facebook

While there’s no shortage of hilarious questions on the document, I think the final one has to be my favourite.

Question nine reads:

Will you be prepared to look after my beehive when I go on holiday?

I have no doubts this is the final test of Aleisha’s dad when it comes to approving his daughter’s partners.

Not only is he trusting Andy to look after his insects, he’s trusting him to look after ones that aren’t afraid to sting. If the boyfriend can successfully make it through that ordeal, he’d obviously have proved his worth.

Pixabay

Alongside the picture of the questions, Aleisha wrote on Twitter:

Came out for tea with Andy and my family for the first time, my dads just gave him this lmfaoooooooooooo f*ck off.

Her tweet has since racked up thousands of likes from amused social media users, with many describing the questions as ‘brilliant.’

Aleisha later added a comment emphasising her dad’s questions weren’t serious, so hopefully Andy didn’t really have to go into detail about his porn habits!

While the document probably scared the life out of the boyfriend at first, the joke would certainly have been a good way to break the ice!

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Emily Brown

Emily Brown first began delivering important news stories aged just 13, when she launched her career with a paper round. She graduated with a BA Hons in English Language in the Media from Lancaster University, and went on to become a freelance writer and blogger. Emily contributed to The Sunday Times Travel Magazine and Student Problems before becoming a journalist at UNILAD, where she works on breaking news as well as longer form features.