This Fan Theory About Why Cartman Is So Angry Changes Everything

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Comedy Central/ Youtube

With the irreverent animation now on its nineteenth series, it’s about time someone looked into the psychology behind why Cartman is such a furious little ball of bastard.

Step up fan theorist and Redditor ConspirOC who suggests that it is in fact Cartman’s repressed homosexuality and unrequited love for Kyle that have turned him into such a dick.

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So the theory goes:

“I ask why would a 10 year old hate people so vigorously? Well, if you don’t know, the last episode ended with Eric fingering his asshole in a sexual manner. That brings me to the first point in my theory. Eric Cartman is gay.

“Now this might be a little hard to grasp. But, if you have watched a lot of episodes of South Park then you know it just might be true. The best example I can give, aside from the newest episode, is in the epiosde Cartman Sucks in which he takes a picture of Butters dick in his mouth. Only then to try and have Butters take Eric’s dick in his mouth. Then, in the Imagination Land Arc Bit Eric spends the whole arc Trying to get Kyle to suck on his balls. I can think of more examples, but these are the biggest ones.

Comedy Central/Vimeo.com

Now let us touch on what he hates, the biggest two are Jews and Gingers. Now he has been shown to distrust Muslims, but not really to hate them. In addition, he has never been shown to hate black people. Now it seems most people that hate Jews hate Black People and Muslims as well. Isn’t it slightly weird that he would only hate Jews and Gingers?

Now to my final point, Kyle is a red haired Jew. If you think about kids in Fourth Grade. They don’t really express their emotions in the best way possible. Younger kids often tease and insult the person of there affection. Not to mention the stigma against being gay even today. As well as, Eric’s almost pathological need to be liked. This all makes a perfect storm of denial and repression, that has no where to escape expect as hate.

So little Eric Cartman hates people because he is unable to deal with the fact that he fact he is in love with Kyle.

Comedy Central/southparkwikia.com

All makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?