Train Cancelled Because Someone Did A Poo On The Seats

PA/Wikimedia

And you thought your commute was bad? This train was cancelled because someone literally took a dump over three seats!

The service, on the Tyne and Wear Metro route in Sunderland and Newcastle, had to be cancelled because of the incident.

Was it a case of life imitating art? Had the angry, now empty commuter taken inspiration from the Turd Burglar in Netflix’s American Vandal?

Or perhaps they were so frustrated at the train service that instead of filling out a complaint form they thought they’d just go directly to the source. After all, it can feel like you’re being dumped on when trains are consistently late or cancelled.

Miramax

The excremental incident happened yesterday (February 9), and resulted in the termination of a service between South Hylton and Airport stations, Metro reports.

The incident came to light after a disgruntled traveller complained on Twitter about the delays.

In a now-deleted tweet, the rail operator reportedly replied:

Sorry, the train has been travelling up from Sunderland with only the rear car in operation as someone has defecated on the train and has covered 3 seats with faeces.

The train has to go into the depot to be cleaned up. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Pexels

A spokesperson for Nexus, the executive body who run the Tyne and Wear Metro lines said:

I can confirm that a train was withdrawn from service due to a public hygiene issue in one of the carriages. The train was immediately taken back to our depot to be cleaned.

Incidents like this are rare on the Tyne and Wear Metro but when they do occur the comfort and safety of our customers is our top priority.

On the other hand, perhaps it was 37-year-old Atlas Talisman, the self-declared ‘Poo Wizard’, who likes to give himself ‘poo facials’ in a bid to ‘reconnect, celebrate and respect’ the rectum.

Atlas claims: ‘it takes someone to dive in face-first and get this topic out in the open, so I guess that person is me.’

I’ll leave you to it then.

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Charlie Cocksedge

Charlie Cocksedge is a journalist and sub-editor at UNILAD. He graduated from the University of Manchester with an MA in Creative Writing, where he learnt how to write in the third person, before getting his NCTJ. His work has also appeared in such places as The Guardian, PN Review and the bin.