The father of a 14-year-old girl was left horrified when she came home from school with a leaflet advising students to suck their partners’ toes rather than have sex.
Year Nine student Emma initially brought the sex education booklet home to her mum, Stacey Larkin, last month, but the mother was so shocked by the content she decided to let her husband, Carl Lawrence, broach the subject instead.
At first glance, the 101 Ways To Show Someone You Love Them Without Having Sex handout appeared quite innocent, with suggestions including giving partners chocolates or compliments.
However, upon closer inspection Carl realised there were a number of suggestions he deemed inappropriate, and he has since accused Shevington High School in Wigan, Greater Manchester, of ‘promoting fetishes’.
The leaflet, created by Spectrum Community Health CIC, suggested that sucking toes, nibbling ears, going on a ‘loveboat’, buying each other underwear and even proposing marriage were good alternatives to having sex.
Security worker Carl was even more horrified when he realised the leaflet had not only been given to his daughter’s Year Nine class, but also to children in the years above and below her.
Emma claimed some of her classmates laughed at the suggestions in school, and she was shocked to hear a teacher respond by saying: ‘You don’t know if you like it until you try it.’
Speaking about the baffling leaflet, Carl said:
I understand children need to be made aware of the world, but should we really be promoting fetishes in Year Nine? I don’t think so.
The first thing that stood out was ‘Suck their toes’. That’s quite niche.
There were some [ideas] I was really shocked at. I don’t think they’ve hit the target demographic. There is no way I think a 14-year-old should be reading this.
The father continued:
When I spoke to my daughter I said, ‘You do know this isn’t the only way to do things?’
Surely they can just enjoy each other’s company. They can go for walks, watch a film, go to Burger King, go to the park.
There’s tons of things she can do that don’t involved getting someone’s big toe in her mouth.
Carl went on to slam some of the other advice given in the leaflet, which listed ‘Drive for two hours just to see them for one’ and ‘Organise an ‘I love you’ banner out the back of a plane’ as suitable ways to express feelings.
He said:
One of the suggestions was ‘Drive for two hours just to see them for one’. I mean, that’s aggravated TWOCing [Taking Without Owner’s Consent] at age 14.
We’re a working class family – we go to Card Factory instead of Clintons. There’s no way we’ll be [adding up] pennies to drop banners from planes – especially at that age when relationships are over within six months anyway.
It also had ‘Propose marriage’. I don’t understand how it’s gone to print without being proof-read by someone who could ask, ‘Is this sensible?’
Carl believes educators should give teens the chance to ‘find things out themselves’ instead of ‘pointing them in the direction of every other possibility’.
He commended the leaflet for including information regarding being careful about inhibitions when drinking alcohol, but said there are ‘certain things kids should learn about through their life’.
The shocked father joked about the leaflet with Emma’s boyfriend, explaining:
I sent [her boyfriend] a message saying, ‘If you remember six months ago, I warned you, whatever you do to my daughter I’m prepared to do to you. Well, when it comes to sucking toes, you’re safe – I’m going nowhere near your trotters.’
He replied, ‘Me neither. That’s disgusting – I didn’t even know that was a thing.’
A spokesperson for Spectrum Community Health CIC responded to the concerns in a statement, saying:
Spectrum’s Relationships and Sex Education Programme provides information and support to young people throughout their high school journey, helping them to make safer choices.
From Year Nine onwards we also introduce our RSE magazine, which is adapted every year in response to feedback from young people, parents and schools.
The 101 Ways were created by teenagers and are referenced by Spectrum in the context of the classroom lessons they support.
Carl is urging Spectrum and Shevington High School to ‘proof-read’ the literature in future to ensure the information being given to children is age-appropriate.
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Emily Brown first began delivering important news stories aged just 13, when she launched her career with a paper round. She graduated with a BA Hons in English Language in the Media from Lancaster University, and went on to become a freelance writer and blogger. Emily contributed to The Sunday Times Travel Magazine and Student Problems before becoming a journalist at UNILAD, where she works on breaking news as well as longer form features.