Calling everyone and anyone who has ever been scored by an ex: I may be about to solve all of your problems.
Have you ever had your heart broken by someone you loved? Been cheated on? Been ghosted? Basically – I’m running out of things to say here – have you ever gone out with a snaky person and instantly regretted it?
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above, then you’ll probably want to get revenge on said snaky ex for ruining your life.
An Australian zoo is allowing people to name a snake after their ex this Valentine’s Day. How’s that for a burn? Venomous, almost.
Forget about traditional revenge plots like exposing them as a cheat in front of everyone they know or egging their house – everyone knows that’s waay too much effort.
Instead, why not let Wild Life Sydney Zoo do all the hard work for you? All you have to do is fill out a form explaining why your ex is the ultimate snake and the zoo decides which person slithers their way to the top. Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
It couldn’t be simpler; the competition requires people to briefly explain (in 25 words or less) why their ex deserves to be the namesake of a brown snake, which is one of the world’s most venomous snakes.
Once you’ve done that, you just have to provide your ex’s name (obvs) and make a small donation of $1 that goes towards the WILD LIFE Conservation Fund. And I think we can all agree that $1 is a small price to pay to have the ultimate petty revenge.
The winner, as well as getting the knowledge that their ex now has a snake named after them, will get a certificate and the opportunity to visit the snake for free every day for the next year.
So what’re you waiting for? If you’ve got a seriously snaky ex who you think could take you to the top of the leader board, apply now.
It could be the one useful thing they’ve ever done for you.
Entry closes on February 13, with the winner being announced on Valentine’s Day.
If you have a story you want to tell, send it to [email protected].
A Broadcast Journalism Masters graduate who went on to achieve an NCTJ level 3 Diploma in Journalism, Lucy has done stints at ITV, BBC Inside Out and Key 103. While working as a journalist for UNILAD, Lucy has reported on breaking news stories while also writing features about mental health, cervical screening awareness, and Little Mix (who she is unapologetically obsessed with).