Mario’s Heroin Party. Uncharted 5: Sully’s Prostate Exam. Dark Souls V Animal Crossing. These are all videogames that are more likely to come out before Half-Life 3.
Whether he’s referring to it as Half-Life 3, or Half Life 2: Episode 3, YouTuber CrowbCat has made a video cutting together all the times over the last decade that Valve boss Gabe Newell has talked about possibly the most anticipated game in the world.
As you can imagine, it makes for pretty depressing viewing. Gabe looks like a man who is continually broken down, diminished piece by piece, every time he’s asked about Half-Life 3.
Then again, at certain points he just looks like a bloke who’s making this shit up as he goes along. I get the impression Half Life 3 was canned years ago and Gabe just likes to fuck with us.
Let’s be real: If Half-Life 3 were to be announced next month at E3 (and I should point out that this is a hypothetical and it definitely won’t be), there is no possible way it could ever live up to the hype now.
No matter what, it would probably end up disappointing people, simply because they’ve taken too long with the fucker.
Anyway, you can check the video out for yourself below, if you feel like having your heart broken.
I dunno though, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Half-Life 3 will get announced at E3 and it’ll come out and be awesome and redefine the genre.
But it’s more likely that we’ll just get another 10 years of a man vaguely mumbling about a game he has no intention of releasing.
Ewan Moore is a journalist at UNILAD Gaming who still quite hasn’t gotten out of his mid 00’s emo phase. After graduating from the University of Portsmouth in 2015 with a BA in Journalism & Media Studies (thanks for asking), he went on to do some freelance words for various places, including Kotaku, Den of Geek, and TheSixthAxis, before landing a full time gig at UNILAD in 2016.