For anyone who didn’t listen in science lessons, avoided watching One Born Every Minute and somehow generally has managed to live life without learning the grisly details of childbirth, then Amy Schumer is here to educate you.
The comedian shared a picture of a cake which had been kindly delivered to her by her sister-in-law Molly, but this wasn’t your average Victoria Sponge.
I’ve never been pregnant, but after hearing many less-than-pleasant stories about the pain of childbirth, I can imagine that soon-to-be mothers often have an ongoing, underlying dread which hangs around throughout the entirety of the pregnancy.
GettyTo help them forget about the worries of tearing, bleeding and pushing a tiny human out of their body, I think it should be everyone else’s job to try and distract the pregnant woman from the inevitable painful end of the process.
Appropriate gifts to achieve this state of distraction might include tiny little shoes, colourful toys and adorable onesies – all the things you’d associate with the cute, clean version of the baby, rather than the mess of giving birth to them.
Clearly, Amy’s sister-in-law chose to go in a different direction.
You might think a cake couldn’t possibly be more graphic than a diagram in a text book, and the even more innocent of you might go as far as to think ‘ooh, cake, I bet it actually paints quite an pleasant version of events’, but let me tell you; you’re wrong.
Molly’s creation featured the head of a doll which protruded, quite terrifyingly, from an edible vagina. The baker included brown sprinkles and a detailed bumhole for finishing touches, and the whole thing looked both shocking and, unfortunately for all those soon-to-be mothers out there, pretty accurate.
The comedian shared a picture of her cake on Instagram, writing:
My sister in law. And I can’t stress that enough IN LAW. surprised me with a horrifying cake and i can’t thank her enough. So I won’t thank her at all. @mofischhh something is truly wrong with you and i love you. #haunting #butthole
Check it out here – though if you’re pregnant, I’d advise you to look away and ignore the inevitable for as long as possible:
I can’t imagine Amy’s friends and family will be flocking to get a slice, but I suppose it’s the thought that counts.
The 37-year-old announced her pregnancy in October last year, after hinting at the happy news using a photo of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, who had also recently announced they were expecting.
The I Feel Pretty star swapped Meghan and Harry’s faces for her and husband Chris Fischer’s, and revealed she had some exciting news:
The actual announcement of her pregnancy was then shared on journalist Jessica Yellin’s Instagram page, who posted Amy’s recommendations for the upcoming US midterm elections before concluding with the words “I’m pregnant – Amy Schumer”.
I’m sure the underlying dread of childbirth has been growing, along with the baby itself, ever since, and Molly’s graphic cake almost certainly didn’t help, but it will all be worth it in the end!
Until then, Amy should probably just try and enjoy the taste of the cake rather than think about what it represents.
Ouch.
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Emily Brown first began delivering important news stories aged just 13, when she launched her career with a paper round. She graduated with a BA Hons in English Language in the Media from Lancaster University, and went on to become a freelance writer and blogger. Emily contributed to The Sunday Times Travel Magazine and Student Problems before becoming a journalist at UNILAD, where she works on breaking news as well as longer form features.