GettyAfter today’s mayoral election in London, poor Boris Johnson will be joining the 1.69 million people in the UK who are currently unemployed, but not to worry he’s already been offered another job.
The adult shop Ann Summers, have offered the outgoing mayor and MP a job working in one of their shops, after he declared on Twitter that, ‘Operation Juddering Climax is coming to its final shuddering surge’.
"Operation Juddering Climax" @BorisJohnson, wanna job? ? pic.twitter.com/UQjPtI6iDs
— Ann Summers (@AnnSummers) May 4, 2016
The disturbingly worded tweet was accompanied by a video where Boris asked for people to vote for Zac Goldsmith today, citing his own achievements as proof that the conservatives could be trusted to run the capital.
Unfortunately for Boris Johnson no one was interested in the video but in the way the soon to be ex-mayor described his stewardship of the city.
Of course ‘Operation Juddering Climax’ soon began to trend online with people mortified at what the tweet meant.
Jesus Christ Boris! Operation Juddering Climax?? No way – it’s been more like Operation Massive Knob pic.twitter.com/cbFK0st57R
— John Spiers (@squeezyjohn) May 4, 2016
https://twitter.com/Dhochlaf/status/727848376251908096
Someone fetch Boris Johnson a kleenex please – Operation Juddering Climax pic.twitter.com/gg7fxmre0F
— Ed Sweetman #FBPE (@humanpilot) May 4, 2016
.@BorisJohnson Operation Juddering Climax? Boris…
— Camilla Long (@camillalong) 4 May 2016
I have just learned that Boris Johnson has used the words "Operation Juddering Climax" in an official mayor of London press release.
— Marius Hollenga (@MariusHollenga) May 4, 2016
@camillalong @BorisJohnson ewwww
— Gisele (@_headfairy) 4 May 2016
*sees "Operation Juddering Climax is trending*
*sees it relates to Boris Johnson*
*begins throwing up uncontrollably*— The Written Ward (@WrittenWard) May 4, 2016
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP RETWEETING THE BORIS THING ALREADY I AM TRYING TO KEEP MY LUNCH DOWN
— James Ball (@jamesrbuk) May 4, 2016
Unfortunately for the Conservatives Zac Goldsmith, who’s campaigning to be Boris’s successor as mayor, seems to be losing out to Labour’s candidate Sadiq Khan in the polls.
Maybe comparing your mayorship to an orgasm wasn’t the best thing to do Boris. People don’t like sticky messes.
More of a concept than a journalist, Tom Percival was forged in the bowels of Salford University from which he emerged grasping a Masters in journalism.
Since then his rise has been described by himself as ‘meteoric’ rising to the esteemed rank of Social Editor at UNILAD as well as working at the BBC, Manchester Evening News, and ITV.
He credits his success to three core techniques, name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.