Guam. The island you never heard of that’s suddenly on almost every page on the Internet after the poster boy for North Korea threatened a nuclear attack.
However it’s not all bad for the pocket sized island.
Aside from the high possibility of essentially being dissolved into the Pacific Ocean via out and out nuclear holocaust – Donald Trump does think the threats will increase tourism, reports the New York Times.
Guam’s Governor, Eddie Calvo, must be absolutely delighted: ‘Folk of Guam – yes you may be reduced to burning nothingness in the immediate future, butttttt we are now a stellar holiday destination. Thanks Kim’.
Okay so that’s not a real quote, but I kid you not – the below is exactly what Trump said to Calvo. Un-fucking-believable:
I have to tell you, you have become extremely famous all over the world. They are talking about Guam; and they’re talking about you.
I can say this: You’re going to go up, like, tenfold with the expenditure of no money.
And amazingly, Calvo agreed – you’re literally seconds away from a nuclear holocaust and you’re chatting about how good your island is:
It’s a paradise. We got 95 per cent occupancy and after all this stuff calms down, we’re going to have 110 percent occupancy.
Now I’ve never been to Guam but I’m pretty sure it is definitely a paradise.
However what I’m not so sure of is whether it’ll still be a paradise in the smokey aftermath of nuclear war – which should definitely be a bigger talking point right now than tourism.
Jesus wept.
