Footage Shows ‘Illuminati Performing Human Sacrifice’ At CERN

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If you’ve been living on planet Earth for the last little while, you’ll know that the world is secretly controlled by the Illuminati – a shadowy clandestine group consisting of the world’s political, business, and religious leaders.

Other than the fact that Beyoncé and Jay-Z are definitely a part of it, it’s been kind of difficult to prove they actually exist – until now.

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Footage has emerged that allegedly shows a group of researchers at the CERN Large Hadron Collider performing a ‘satanic human sacrifice’ ritual under the statue of the Hindu deity Shiva.

The video shows multiple people walking around wearing long black robes, before a woman moves onto the floor and is apparently stabbed.

It’s far from the first time that scientific work has been associated with the Illuminati, so it would make perfect sense if they were really members of the New World Order.

So is this it? Have we finally proved the Illuminati are taking over the world?

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It would be irresponsible of me to guarantee your safety from them, but a Cern spokesperson confirmed that the video had been filmed there without permission or knowledge – and they seem to think it’s not really the Illuminati.

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They told The Mirror:

This video is a work of fiction. CERN fills up with visitors over summer, with users from across the world who come to CERN as part of their work, and some of whom occasionally let their sense of humour go too far.

That is what has happened on this occasion. CERN does not condone this kind of spoof.

Sure, that makes sense. Or is that exactly what the Illuminati would say?