Th3GreenMan56/RedditThe thing is, you shouldn’t really ever, ever send unsolicited pictures of your dong willy-nilly.
But if this is a particularly creepy road you are determined to go down, then you should probably at least check you have the right number.
Unfortunately, this is a piece of wisdom which flew straight over the head of a random perv who fell foul of his own d*ck pics.
Believing he had obtained the number of an unnamed girl in his economics class, the unlucky texter cut the small talk entirely and got straight to bearing all. And oh dear, was that a bad move…
Th3GreenMan56/RedditA Redditor with the handle Th3GreenMan56 bore testament to the incredibly awkward textual encounter.
This conversation began innocently enough, with the texter kicking things off with a simple ‘hi.’
With a response he would live to regret, the Redditor enquired, ‘Hey, who is this?’
At this point, the texter made his sweaty introduction, reportedly clearing his throat while ‘sweating profusely.’
The Redditor patiently explained how he wasn’t the person the texter was looking for, stating:
Um I think you got the wrong number haha.
However, the texter would not be perturbed; boldly continuing with his strangely action-packed attempt at flirting:
*Looks down at the ground, twirling thumbs* ****** gave me your number.
Th3GreenMan56/RedditAgain the Redditor attempted to throw cold water over the mystery messenger’s woeful wooing, stating:
That’s cool but you have the wrong number… I’m a 25 year old man.
However, this crystal clear message was apparently still undecipherable for the texter, whose nerves and ‘twirling thumbs’ were all but forgotten with the following pleadingly confident message:
Cmonnnn it’s ****** from ECON. I asked ****** for your number. Let’s hang out. *hand itching to unzip pants.*
Hoping to stop the randy message intruder before the zip came all the way down, the exasperated Redditor said:
****** you have the wrong number. I’m not a woman. I literally have a mustache.
Unfortunately, this was not enough. Not only did the zip come down, the pants came off and the Redditor was greeted with a decidedly unwelcome d*ck pic.
Th3GreenMan56/RedditAt this point the Redditor responded with a picture of his own: a photo of his own shocked, and indeed moustachioed, face.
He followed this with the following incredulous comment:
Oh you poor, poor man.
In an apparent state of horrified disbelief, the texter replied with a singular ‘no.’
Th3GreenMan56/RedditPeople on the Reddit thread were greatly amused by this tale of todgers and terror.
One person sniggered:
The ‘no’ actually made me laugh quite a bit, like how much denial can you even have?
Another person chuckled:
I love the denial sprinkled through the post the masses of excuses that must have ran through his head and when eventually faced with having to accept all his mistakes all he can force is a single meek broken ‘no.’
Th3GreenMan56/RedditLet this be a lesson to anyone thinking of sending pictures of their junk to random acquaintances. Just maybe send a picture of a nice, fluffy rabbit instead.
Although, if you don’t already get how this sort of carry on is extremely weird and alarming then I’m sure this modern day parable won’t convince you otherwise.
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Jules studied English Literature with Creative Writing at Lancaster University before earning her masters in International Relations at Leiden University in The Netherlands (Hoi!). She then trained as a journalist through News Associates in Manchester. Jules has previously worked as a mental health blogger, copywriter and freelancer for various publications.