The Turkish military coup may now be over, but many holidaymakers are still caught up in the aftermath and not able to fly back home.
One of those is Phil Stephenson. He was caught up in the coastal resort of Marmaris on a spontaneous Tinder trip, while pro-government protestors fought the armed forces, leaving 265 people people dead and over 1,000 injured around the country.
But was he bothered by this horrifying experience? Nope, not all. He was more worried about the date he got himself involved in.
He matched with Nicole Graham on Thursday, before jetting off on the Friday and landing in the midst of the military trying to overthrow the government and President Tayyip Erdogan, the Daily Star reports.
Speaking to the news outlet, he said: “We said about five words to each other and she sent me her number.” Because what is romance anyway?
This escalated pretty quickly, with Phil agreeing to accompany Nicole on her holiday to Turkey, which she was originally intending to go on alone.
But as soon as they boarded the plane, he instantly regretted his decision.
He said:
I just thought it was banter for the lads and it would be good craic but she was coming on too strong. She was trying to feed me crisps on the plane. She threw a wobbler when I put my headphones in and then she lost it when we got to the room and she pushed the two single beds together. I thought she was going to be the female version of me but she wanted romance. She was asking people round the pool for romantic restaurants – I’m not about that.
You couldn’t make this shit up. This guy, who looks and sounds like a Dapper Laughs knock-off, was more bothered about finding someone to shag for a week than sympathising with all the atrocities going on around him.
And it wasn’t even this situation that made him want to get the fuck out out of there – it was his Tinder match.
He added:
I got a taxi to pick me up from the hotel and I packed my stuff and ran away. We were going to go out but the coup erupted. Two police officers were killed near our hotel and helicopters were flying overhead but I was more scared of her to be honest. There was definitely going to be at least one war if I stayed there with her.
What a dick. The depressing thing is, it doesn’t seem like he was the only one who wasn’t too bothered about the violent clashes happening around the country. Nicole was also only concerned about how badly the date went.
She said:
I thought Phil looked all right to begin with but I wish I had swiped left now. He was on his phone all of the time and did not seem interested in speaking to me. He was ignorant and full of himself and seemed to be taking himself way too seriously.
How can these sort of people even exist? I’m literally done with the world.
