Here’s Why Satanic Temple Are P*ssed Off With U.S. Presidential Hopeful

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Turns out that contrary to popular wisdom Satanists are actually quite a sensitive lot, especially when it comes to portrayals of their dark lord and saviour Satan.

According to Raw Story a number of Satanists are outraged that the former speaker for the American house of representatives, John Boehner, described potential Republican candidate, Ted Cruz, as ‘Lucifer in the flesh’.

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Funnily enough the Satanists actually agree with Boehner’s sentiments they just believe that there’s no way Cruz is the real living incarnation of Satan.

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Satanic Temple spokesman Lucien Greaves bashed Cruz in a statement to the Friendly Atheist.

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It read:

Cruz’s failures of reason, compassion, decency, and humanity are products of his Christian pandering, if not an actual Christian faith…

It grows tedious when pedophile priests and loathsome politicians are conveniently dismissed as Satanic, even as they spew biblical verse and prostrate themselves before the cross, recruiting the Christian faithful. Satanists will have nothing to do with any of them.

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Of course the Satanist Temple aren’t actually real blood stone circle worshipping Satanists, instead they sound like a bunch of pretty cool guys.

The Temple is a collection of humanists who reject religion and instead promote passion and reason, using Satan as a metaphorical figurehead for their group because he represents ‘the eternal rebel’.

To be fair with the line up of Republican candidates and some of their right wing views Satan would probably be a better choice of candidate, even if he campaigned on the whole thousand years of darkness platform.

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That said, if you Google Lucifer2016.com your in for a dark surprise…