 The Telegraph
The TelegraphDubai’s become a playground for the mega-rich, they’ve built huge malls, the world’s first seven star hotel and even started to make man-made islands, because presumably they’re as rich as god was when he started making islands. In fact the vast amount of money in Dubai has given its people a taste for designer label gear, leading several labels to set up their own luxury hotels in the country.
These hotels are absolutely insane with a night stay costing the average monthly wage of most people, seriously you’d have to be mega rch to think of spending a fortnight here.
So if you fancy living vicariously through pictures, check out some of the coolest designer label hotels in Dubai, we imagine they’re a bit better than a Premier Inn.
Armani Hotel
The world’s tallest building is home to one of the plushest hotels on earth, the Armani Hotel. One of only two Armani hotels in the world, it has 160 rooms and suites, six restaurants and a special shop selling finely tailored Armani goodies. The hotel’s ‘philosophy’, is that it offers the sort of welcome that Giorgio would extend to his very own family and friends. At £1,800 for a night’s stay we hope he gives them a discount!
It looks like a hotel made of giant aftershave bottles.
 High Snobiety
High SnobietyIs it just me or do ‘luxury hotels’ always look really uncomfortable.
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High SnobietyThe Palazzo Versace
The Palazzo Versace is a five star luxury hotel that looks more like a palace from revolutionary France than a Travelodge, but you’d expect that for over £1,000 a night. The hotel as 215 rooms and boasts eight bars and restaurants. Incedibly all of the furniture and fabric is custom made for the hotel and the building reportedly cost $625 million, just under half a billion pounds, to build!
That’s what over half a billion dollars will buy you.
 High Snobiety
High SnobietyI bet it’s still got that stale toast and sweat smell that all hotels have.
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High SnobietyVery posh.
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High SnobietyOkay that’s a nice looking room.
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High SnobietyCavalli Club
Technically the Roberto Cavalli hotel doesn’t exist yet, although one is being built, but the Florentine fashion label do have their own club in Dubai. The club is supposed ’embody the glamorous soul of the designer’, which implies that the designer probably has quite tacky tastes, unless zebra print, crystal chandeliers and indoor waterfalls are in style these days.
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High SnobietyBulgari Hotel
The Bulgari hotel has franchises around the world and plans to set up in Dubai in 2017. The hotel is being designed by Italian architectural firm Antionio Citterio Patricia Viel and Partners on a man-made island, because if you’re spending millions building a five star hotel what’s building an island.
We don’t know much about what the hotel will look like, but going off its London branch it’ll be fucking fancy.
The concept art makes it look very plush indeed.
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High SnobietyApparently the island is supposed to look like a sea horse… looks more like a horse shoe to be honest.
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High SnobietyPlace to park your boat, standard.
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High SnobietyNot bad.
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High SnobietyNice balcony.
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High SnobietyIs that a private pool?
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High SnobietyWe bet the views would be incredible.
 
 

More of a concept than a journalist, Tom Percival was forged in the bowels of Salford University from which he emerged grasping a Masters in journalism.
Since then his rise has been described by himself as ‘meteoric’ rising to the esteemed rank of Social Editor at UNILAD as well as working at the BBC, Manchester Evening News, and ITV.
He credits his success to three core techniques, name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.