Pray for your poor arteries: Japan is now home to a f*cking massive pizza with 18 types of meat.
Really, it’s two pizzas (a Joey special), with one placed on top of the other. The result: the ‘Nikku Mountain’ (Meat Mountain), a greasy, cheesy sandwich tailor-made for the hungriest carnivores out there in the wild.
It’s available at Aoki’s, a Japanese pizza chain. At more than two kilograms, you best clear some room before tackling this bad boy.
You’re probably thinking how one gets 18 meats on a pizza – well, Aoki’s aren’t messing around.
If you order the doughy behemoth, you’ll tuck into beef steak, hamburger, roast ham, Iberico bacon, sliced bacon, sliced bacon, bacon bits, Grand Alto Bayern, pepperoni, mini wiener, pork sausage and Italian sausage – and that’s just the first bloody layer.
Underneath that smorgasbord of meat you’ll find black beef ribs, chicken, specially ground meat, spicy meat sauce, taco meat and ham. With all that, there’s BBQ sauce, Ajillo sauce, mozzarella and Gouda cheese.
Just reading that is giving me the pizza sweats. I don’t know whether to be turned on or scared.
If you’re feeling hungry, you can buy the pizza in medium size (25cm wide) for 2,918 yen ($27.02). But say you’re not a mere mortal – if you’re truly a gannet, you can get it in large size (36cm) for 4,624 yen ($42.78), plus tax.
People online are ravenous at the prospect. One Facebook user wrote: ‘What kind of meat do you want on your pizza? Yes.’
One person wrote: ‘I’ve never needed something so bad and not known it’ while another user commented: ‘You had me at meat mountain.’
Some aren’t so sure. A few people have pointed out that it’s a bit pointless, saying ‘the more you add, the less pizza it becomes’.
One user wrote: ‘Did humanity really need that?’ while another commented: ‘It’s not the variety but the rate and quantity that matters.’
Warner BrosA few sadists even complained about the pizza’s biggest omission: pineapple (it doesn’t belong).
Having had 14 toppings on a pizza before, I can assure you that the idea is much better than the reality – both in terms of the experience of eating it, and the messy aftermath.
But, there’s only one way to find out – we must try the Meat Mountain. It’s available for a limited time now, so we better catch the next plane. Or if you’re already there for the Rugby World Cup which kicks off on Friday, check it out.
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After graduating from Glasgow Caledonian University with an NCTJ and BCTJ-accredited Multimedia Journalism degree, Cameron ventured into the world of print journalism at The National, while also working as a freelance film journalist on the side, becoming an accredited Rotten Tomatoes critic in the process. He’s now left his Scottish homelands and took up residence at UNILAD as a journalist.