A man has been jailed for trying to have sex with a pile of leaves while drunk and under the influence of drugs, which leaves the memory of your worst hangover paling in comparison.
Michael Golsorkhi, from Hyde, was spotted with his trousers down thrusting at a pile of leaves outside a Premier Inn in Stockport, Greater Manchester, last month.
The 26-year-old, who had taken cannabis and cocaine, scuttled off and hid in a bush after hotel staff confronted him over his X-rated behaviour. He only appeared 10 minutes later when he came out looking sheepish as the police arrived.
The incident reportedly took place in the hotel car park, in full view of families eating in the Beefeater pub next door.
On Tuesday, October 29, he was jailed for eight weeks at Stockport Magistrates Court.
Magistrate Edward Tasker told him:
Think about your life. Make sure you do go out and seek help. Unfortunately for you, it is you who have found yourself in this position.
In a court statement, one member of the hotel staff said:
We saw a white male with his trousers down and we could see his bum.
There was nothing between me and this male, he was about a car length away from me and he appeared to be having sex.
At one stage, I shouted to him, ‘What are you doing, you dirty b*stard?’ and he then leaped up, pulled his trousers up and sat in the bushes.
We rang the police and I kept shouting, ‘What are you doing? Clear off.’
Mobile phone footage, which appeared to show Golsorkhi attempting to have sex with a pile of leaves, was then shown to the court.
Unemployed Golsorkhi admitted outraging public decency and possessing cannabis, and was ordered to pay £122 in costs.
Defence lawyer Neville Warburton said:
This is no fault of anyone else except the defendant. As a result of embarrassment, he has no desire to return to the Premier Inn.
There’s a lesson to be learned here; next time you want to get jiggy with some beautiful autumn leaves, at least wine and dine them before taking them back to your place, instead of getting down and dirty in the car park on full display.
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Emma Rosemurgey is an NCTJ trained Journalist who started her career by producing The Royal Rosemurgey newspaper in 2004, which kept her family up to date with the goings on of her sleepy north east village. She graduated from the University of Central Lancashire in Preston and started her career in regional newspapers before joining Tyla (formerly Pretty 52) in 2017, and progressing onto UNILAD in 2019.