Oh wow. If you have a dick you might want to stop reading now.
A farmer in India was rushed to hospital after he was bitten on the penis by a venomous Levantine viper.
The 46-year-old man was taking a piss in a field when the snake mistook his junk for a fellow snake and went to say hello. He went to the emergency room three hours after the bite, which I would consider an incredibly casual reaction to having your fucking dick bitten by a poisonous snake.
He was in a stable condition but his dick was ‘grossly swollen’ and covered in fluid-filled blister where the teeth had gone in. He was given an anti-venom to neutralise the poison.
Three days later his blood began clotting normally and he was allowed to leave hospital. The swelling started to go down four days after he was discharged but he was left with black wounds where the fangs had penetrated his penis.
The venom had caused the tissue to wither and die, although after a couple of weeks it eventually fully healed.
The moral of the story, don’t piss on a venomous snake, they don’t like it much.
