New Claims Combine Hitler, Jesus And Britain Into Craziest Conspiracy Theory Yet

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There’s conspiracy theories and then there’s just pure, unadulterated, but brilliant, madness.

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Following an in-depth investigation – and the examination of never-before-seen FBI documents – investigator John Cencich and journalist Gerrard Williams have concluded that Hitler did, in fact, escape the fall of the Third Reich in 1945.

According to the Daily Star, the pair believe he slipped away from Berlin just moments before the Soviets invaded.

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Many theories have circulated, with the most popular being that the fallen fascist made his way to the Canary Islands and then South America.

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But now an even more bizarre conspiracy theory has emerged, suggesting Adolf may actually have taken sanctuary in the northern Indian province of Kashmir which, back then, was still a British colony.

More extraordinary still is that the dictator – who famously despised religion – is apparently buried in a shrine reputed to be Jesus Christ’s final resting place.

Spearheading this theory is respected Kashmiri writer and historian Farooq Renzu Shah, who insists:

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In the shabby backstreets of Srinagar is an old building known as the Rozabal shrine.

But it is padlocked tight and it has a watchman guarding it to make sure no-one goes near the corpse.

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Mr Shah claims Hitler was friends with an Indian nationalist and Nazi sympathiser called Subhas Chandra Bose.

Bose collaborated with the Japanese in the fight against British rule in India, heading up the Indian National Army – devoted to kicking the colonisers out of India.

Using his connections, he arranged a safe haven for Hitler at the Maharaja of Kashmir’s palace, lavishing him in a life of luxury until he died – allegedly from Parkinson’s disease sometime around 1950.

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It is claimed his body was taken to the tomb in Rozabal – also reputed to be the final resting place of Christ – as it is ‘the least likely place anyone would expect the fugitive Führer to be buried’.

But unfortunately – because the site is incredibly holy – an exhumation is unlikely any time soon because of strict laws safeguarding spiritual sites.

So it doesn’t look like we’ll be getting any proof either way any time soon. In spite of all this, the Russians insist he did die – and that they have the bones to prove it.

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According to Russian authorities, they are in possession of the ‘Führer’s skull and jaw with some teeth intact’ safely stored away in one of Vladimir Putin’s vaults.

Although a number of experts claim the Soviet Union faked the discovery simply to avoid the embarrassment of Hitler escaping under their noses.

Who the fuck knows anything any more?