Oldham Council Immediately Regret Asking Public To Name Gritter

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When Oldham Council asked the public to pick a name for their new gritter, they didn’t see this coming. 

All the signs suggested the public cannot be trusted – please take a moment to remember RSS Sir David Attenborough, née Boaty McBoatface.

Yet, showing overwhelmingly misguided faith, Oldham City Council open the job of naming their shiny new gritter up to the floor.

I’m betting they were surprised by the overwhelming public response – and the level of word-smithery offered up by some of the wittier Tweeters.

While Gritta Garbo is marvellously glamorous for a giant yellow glorified tractor, I’m less convinced by the references to the monstrous men responsible for murders, kidnapping, paedophilia and sexual abuse.

Some of these should come with a trigger warning.

Personally, I hope council members opt for something more neutral:

Just like Honey G on X Factor and Ed Balls on Strictly – and certain democratic votes of 2016 that Must Not Be Named – the public love to assert their power with a controversial vote.

Either Oldham Council members have been living under a rock since summer, or they’ve totally ignored the fact that the public shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions. Ever.

We wait with baited breath until 30 November when the gritter’s fate will be announced.

Francesca Donovan

A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.